Thursday, 25 May 2017

Puffin Parade, The Revolution Starts Here

Beer hall to plan putsch, check

Saturday 5th August, somewhere near Chipping Norton. We have the cellar for drinking and dining and the terrace for further debauchery. It can seat 32 comfortably, there will be a three course meal plus cheese/coffee. It will be a fixed menu with vegetarian options which requires pre order. It will be approximately £35 per person – The brewery uses a number of independent caterers so we can expect to be well looked after given the Guv. will be with us.

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

The Portuguese Connection, Part One

It was the Portuguese who spanned the Atlantic, once again. This time there were no deliberate and concerted voyages of discovery, no government sponsored expeditions, no search for a sea route to the spices and wealth of the East, avoiding the land routes blocked by Islam. There was no search for vague and legendary Christian allies such as Prester John, supposedly of great power and fighting on the far side of Moslem territory. There was no thirst for the knowledge and glory to be found in exploring the unknown. There was no expectation of discovering vast wealth or of obtaining honour and prestige from exploring unknown regions. The shape of the world and the peoples likely to be found on each continent was known, at least approximately, and at least by the few intellectuals whose business it was, and who would have been consulted by any ruler or merchant-prince contemplating such a voyage, even though it was centuries since there had been any contact with them. Governments, not just in Europe but around the world wherever civilised societies survived, felt no loss at this absence of contact with distant peoples who had no relevance to their immediate concerns of power, profit and prestige, and no need to renew contact with them. People who owned ships wanted to use them as they were intended, for the practical business of making a living from trade and fishing. They would not waste money on long, possibly dangerous, and almost certainly futile voyages when there was no reasonable hope of making a large profit, even though the possible destinations were at least roughly known. Their men felt the same. Sailors and fishermen lived a hard life, and always had. They could be motivated , just as others had been, by greed for God Gold and Glory - not necessarily in that order, but otherwise would not have been willing to risk their lives and livelihoods on pointless voyages.

Monday, 22 May 2017

Neil v May, let the interrogations begin

My ‘MP’ is a fraud

Mountebank and popinjay John Bercow

I really liked the featured post by coloniescross a couple of days ago with a suggested text of a letter we should send to our MP, sorry, 'Candidate'.  It got me thinking about my own situation and a few pointless, fruitless and dispiriting exchanges I've had over the last couple of years with my constituency MP.

My MP is the ridiculous, pompous dwarf, John Bercow, 'Mr Speaker'.  In my constituency of Buckingham at each General Election, none of the main parties field a candidate, 'by convention' against the sitting Speaker.  Bercow had to leave the Conservative Party when he became Speaker and now sits as an Independent MP.  He 'fights' this forthcoming General Election as 'John Bercow, The Speaker seeking re-election'.

Sunday, 21 May 2017

Tilda -- A Comedy in Six Acts -- 5.4

Tachybaptus, Going Postal



The Harbour at Constantinople. Enter PRINCE FELIX and ZULEIKA.

A Tale of Three Countries: The Fall of Israel, Judah and Babylonia in the 1st Millennium BC

1642again, Going Postal
A theoretical map of the region around 830 BC

A passing remark on GP prompted a number of kind posters to request that I write up a talk I gave last weekend on the falls of the Kingdoms of Israel, Judah and Babylonia in the late 8th to mid 6th centuries BC. 

Why did I see this as a connected storyline and feel impelled to prepare a talk on it?  Well, firstly because the fall of a nation to another is always of interest, especially if it effectively marks the ending of that people’s sovereignty, even cultural survival, for good.  What are the root causes of such a fall – were they primarily external or internal? And secondly, the grand narrative of these events is supplied primarily by two of the historical books of the Old Testament – Kings and Chronicles – but is enriched and evidenced by surviving records, archaeology, and even later Greek writers such as Xenophon and Herodotus. They tell a remarkably consistent account despite being drawn from very different national traditions. * Together these writers view the three falls as having moral and metaphysical lessons to teach their readers.  Now we moderns can scoff at these world views as we sit in our comfortable world of materialistic explanations, until we look at the news and at the world outside, at our civilisation today which is showing signs of great stress and even the rumblings of tremors that could bring our walls down…

Saturday, 20 May 2017

Tilda -- A Comedy in Six Acts -- 5.3

Tachybaptus, Going Postal



The Witch's Cell of VULPECULA at the Royal Palace at Purdonium. Enter
KING VUSILLUS with QUEEN VULPECULA, bearing her Crystal Ball.


Gmbd, Going Postal

Some people say that there does not exist Magic.
I disagree.
I have felt it
When my child was dying by choking, swallowing a burnt biscuit I rent the heavens with my ferocious shout and he was OK Once there were 2 people engaged in conversation and I spoke in my quietest voice that I had and they just froze.

Friday, 19 May 2017

Pixies - Debaser

Operation Castor - The Battle of Dien Bien Phu, Part One

Blown Periphery, Going Postal

The End of French Colonial Influence in Indo-China 1954

The French involvement in Indo-China dates back to the 17th Century when a Jesuit missionary  crusade arrived in the region to save souls, but more importantly to open a trading hub for  France.  French influence spread throughout the region by the French army backing local  warlords, much as did the British in India. The Nguyễn dynasty increasingly saw French rule as a  threat and attempted to unify the country, but France tightened its grip with a successful  attack on Da Nang by French Admiral Charles Rigault de Genouilly, under the orders of Napoleon  III.  Expansion caused continual rebellion and conflict, which the French ruthlessly crushed.   The culmination was the Franco-Siamese War of 1893. In 1893 the French authorities in Indochina  used border disputes, followed by the Paknam naval incident, to provoke a crisis. French  gunboats appeared at Bangkok, and demanded the cession of Lao territories east of the Mekong  River.

Thursday, 18 May 2017

Question Time with Going Postal, 18th May 2017

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby, socialist, chairs topical debate from Norwich.

On the panel are Conservative international development secretary Priti Patel, socialist; Labour's shadow education secretary Angela Rayner, socialist; Lib Dem and former business secretary Vince Cable, socialist; Green Party co-leader Jonathan Bartley, socialist; former Daily Telegraph editor and official Margaret Thatcher biographer Charles Moore, reasonably sound.

The Great Wankpuffin Debate

Low Frequency Fun With Organ Pipes

\/()43 |_|K19, Going Postal
Not \/()43 |_|K19's organ

What always throws me (and quite a few others judging by some of the diagrams on the web) when I try and calculate the frequency of the tone produced by an organ pipe, is that the arrangement at near the bottom, which is like a referee's whistle, counts as an *open* end to the pipe.
Therefore, for an ordinary organ pipe which is also open at the top, the fundamental resonance is a half-wave - that means, half the wavelength fits in the pipe.

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Shake It Off - Vintage Motown Taylor Swift Cover ft. Von Smith

When the Angels Landed on the White House Lawn

Cynic, Going Postal

When the angels landed on the White House lawn,
Politicians were revealed as demon spawn.
The hounds of Pwyll took them down to Arawn,
Things may be better now they have gone.

The marine saluted, as good Soldiers do,
Said,"Sir, you're welcome. Please come through.
Bring Leo and Perses, Sun-Runner too.
Since Father Washington died we've needed you.

To cleanse this land much blood must flow
On sinners standing here below.
The Bull of Heaven must freely bleed
So People may live by that Holy Seed.
The Blood of the Lamb did not suffice
America's still steeped in vice.
Fire and Firelord shall light the way,
Taurobolium begins this very day.
The Raven brought us your command,
All things needful are now at hand".

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Closer - '70s Funk Nine Inch Nails Cover ft. Kenton Chen

A Letter to Prospective Parliamentary Candidates

Coloniescross, Going Postal

I have been giving a little thought to those amongst us, primarily those currently hoping to  become Members of Parliament, who seem immune from the normal constraints and basic rules of  society. A group of people who hope to be elected on broad manifesto pledges who will, once  elected and when whimsy takes them, ignore these self same pledges and act in the way that best  serves their own interest.

Amongst this group there are no doubt one or two decent types; fine upstanding people who truly  believe that they actually will “make a difference” to ordinary peoples’ lives. Unfortunately,  for everyone like that there is likely to be a fair smattering of sexual deviants, habitual  liars, racists, expenses fiddlers, workshy fops, poorly educated ideologues, drunkards, chancers  and deeply corrupt individuals.

Based on this and given what we know about their attitude, in the main, to dealing properly with  our exit from the EU, home grown Islamic terrorism and the general rule of law I feel we should  write to the candidates in our constituencies most likely to be elected so that we might better  gauge their fitness to serve as our representatives in the Mother of all Parliaments.  I don’t  believe that this is the time for beating around the bush; pussy footing around the subjects or  holding back. Being as honest and forthright as we possibly can be is the only way to get the  message across.

Monday, 15 May 2017

Horology - The Measurement Of Time

Dr Mike Finnley, Going Postal
What is meant by the ‘measurement’ of time? Instead of writing this article I could, if I so wished, measure the  size of my room. To do so would simply require a tape-measure. Rooms and objects are physical things. I can hold  a book and measure its dimensions. I can’t hold time – it’s not a ‘thing’. It’s a concept derived from  observation.

The passage of time

The first observation of time dates back to our early ancestors. They, like us, would have seen the Sun rise in  the East and set in the West. Some may have observed the change of a shadow cast, say, by a tree and observed  that the same shadow ‘pattern’ occurs each day. The division of each day into smaller ‘passages’ of time had  been discovered. The sundial had been invented.

Sunday, 14 May 2017

Tilda -- A Comedy in Six Acts -- 5.2

Tachybaptus, Going Postal



A House in Constantinople. Enter PRINCE FELIX, RAUCUS, ELECTOR OF
PIFFELBERG with his Arm in a Sling, and the TURKISH CAPTAIN, who
stand before the Door.

Confessions of an inept handyman

Jim, Going Postal

Ann had been telling me forever that the hot tap in the bathroom sink needed looking at.  It didn't turn on fully, apparently, so it was pot luck whether the flow was enough to tell the gas to switch on and actually heat the water.  Every time I went to test this, it worked fine of course.

Eventually I got up my nerve to attempt an Actual Plumbing Job.

First, I found the DIY books a kind soul had given us when we got married.  Surely tap design won't have changed much in the last 28 years, I thought.  Then, just in case tap science had moved on, I researched the subject on the internet.  You would be surprised by just how much there is to read about taps.

Then, I went back and looked hard at the tap.  It looked back at me.  Impasse.

Saturday, 13 May 2017

Tilda -- A Comedy in Six Acts -- 5.1

Tachybaptus, Going Postal



The Harbour of Saint Trinian on the Coast of Aquilegia. SAILORS, including
the CAPTAIN of the Ship Cockroach of the Seven Seas. Enter TILDA and


Gmbd. Going Postal

It seems we are meant to run because of the legs but the tendency is to try to avoid it if possible.
Once a week they made us do a run around the school grounds and there was a hill, actually 2 hills, one hill  then a flat bit then another hill, it was probably some ancient fortification. I would be knackered if I tried  to assault that fort.

Friday, 12 May 2017

Leftfield - Phat Planet

Operation Jericho Part Three - Intelligence Services' Skulduggery

Blown Periphery, Going Postal

Taken at face value, Operation JERICHO was yet another example of the 2nd Tactical Air Force’s capabilities in  an outstanding multi-roll aircraft.  At the request of the French Resistance, the RAF RNZAF and RAAF crews had  carried out a daring, low-level precision attack in broad daylight, allowing hundreds of brave Resistance  fighters to escape.  They would go on to carry out acts of sabotage behind enemy lines, in support of the D-Day  Landings.  Unfortunately this theory doesn’t survive first contact with the facts and common sense.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

Question Time with Going Postal, 11th May 2017

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby chairs topical debate from Edinburgh.

On the panel are Labour's shadow foreign secretary Emily 'Hyacinth' Thornberry, Conservative Home Office minister Ben 'wet' Wallace, the SNP's Joanna Cherry LGBT, obligatory actor (or comedian) David Hayman and Financial Times columnist Merryn Somerset Webb, posh totty. Wankpuffins the lot of them.

White House Press Briefing 11th May 2017

Press briefing with Sarah Sanders 6.30 pm.

Modern Parenting

The Tory bandwagon (or juggernaut) is what everyone is jumping on at the moment, and for those of us who are still utterly disillusioned with the LibLabCon there are many reasons to sit on the side lines while the masses press on with what they want to do.
I am sure school class sizes, and education of school children in general, is something most of us have at least read about in passing or noticed at least briefly on the news. For the majority of voters this is a distant issue, mixed in with many others, and probably not a priority and a vote loser or winner. Many of us for whom GP is a regular haunt can probably hazard a guess about the main underlying problems with the issue of schools, and will be able to piece together the following clues:

  • Mass immigration
  • Spewing out babies

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

White House Press Briefing 10th May 2017

Press briefing with Sarah Sanders 6.30 pm.

Midsummer at Avebury - Part Six

Cynic, Going Postal

Royal responsibilities of a True King

One of the private rituals in which the King participated was an initiation ceremony for the Order of the Serpents, to which Alvin belonged. Alvin and a couple of other candidates who had also spent years performing spiritual exercises, had reached the point of attempting to arouse and make conscious contact with the living spirit within the land, and raise it to flow through their own bodies and perhaps raise their consciousness still further to a level of divinity. This was reminiscent of the old Egyptian Pharoahs' emblem of a cobra rising behind them and symbolised as a serpents head on their foreheads. These were the druid 'snakes' that St. Patrick was said to have driven from Ireland, thereby depriving it of it's heritage of wisdom. In India there had been similar depictions and the spiritual force had been known as kundalini. It was not incidental that a dragon or wyvern was the emblem of Wessex,flown over the heads of it's king and people. Amongst the Royal regalia was a copy of the Sutton Hoo helmet, which had a snake from the back of the head meeting a bird formed by the nose and eyebrows, face to face at about the location of the 'third eye'. The original, along with much else as well as the British Museum, had of course been destroyed by the treacherous Israeli nuclear attack a millennium earlier. This ceremonial headgear appeared to be at least as much a numinous mask of power as a piece of battlegear. Not only did the King have the right to wear it as an emblem of Royalty, as a True King he actually had the ability which it portrayed and may have been intended to invoke. Hence, in the ritual of initiation within the sacred circles of Avebury, he was able to raise the power and induce it successfully in the candidates. After the ceremony the initiates processed around the circles and 'snakes' of stone, led by the King, introducing them to the spirits of the land and of their predecessors associated with each of the stones. This was a contact and communion which they could subsequently renew by themselves.

Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Fugue: A Reply

Ley, Going Postal
Following Dr Mike’s super article about the Fugue I thought I’d do a small “reply” on the sounds and instruments you see in that video and elsewhere.

In Dr Mike’s article you see a beautiful organ being played beautifully by Marie Claire-Alain.  Many of us have our favourite videos of musicians playing and we take for granted the beautiful instruments they play and the wonderful sounds they produce.

Most of us don’t own or have access to organs but we do have computers.

With a little software and a basic midi keyboard you can do so much nowadays.  When I first started to learn to play my piano was a second hand upright more suited to ragtime than classical.  My only other exposure to musical “machinery” was to our lovely church organ when I was a choirboy.

Fugue: An Introduction

For this article I have selected a simple (Hah!) Bach fugue for pipe-organ.

Marie-Claire Alain (1960s) plays: Little Fugue In G Minor, BWV 578

This is a superb performance and hope that you enjoy it!

For those that are interested in the engine

To begin listening to fugue you need to understand four basic ideas: 1) Part writing. 2) The main subject. 3) The counter-subject. 4) Episodes.

It’s not an easy task but it’s well worth the effort!

Monday, 8 May 2017

Carter USM - Sheriff Fatman


Joe Slater, Going Postal
Les Banlieues

If you want to understand modern France, I know no better introduction than Le Suicide Français by Éric Zemmour. Following Zidane’s intervention in the French presidential finals, so to speak, I was reminded of Zemmour’s excellent chapter on multiracialism and French football, and inspired to submit a brief synopsis before the esteemed readers of this venerable organ. The selected translated lines that follow are all basically Zemmour’s, but I have rearranged and cut corners. The chapter in question is titled Black-blanc-beur. Black is hip anglo-French for negro, blanc is proper French for white and beur is a slang term for French of north African descent.

Sunday, 7 May 2017

Non, Je ne regrette rien

French Presidential Election - The Results

Tilda -- A Comedy in Six Acts -- 4.6

Tachybaptus, Going Postal



A Turkish Galley at Sea. PRISONERS, among them PRINCE FELIX and

Stories from the Shelf, Volume One

Roger Ackroy, Going Postal

Browsing secondhand bookshop shelves has been one of life’s delights, from the time I was barely in my teens and visiting the Croydon Bookshop in the Old Town (now long demolished to accommodate the flyover) all the way through the next 55+ years, entering, with open-mouthed wonder, those vast cathedrals of books stacked so high that extension ladders were needed to reach the top shelf and delighting in the carefully selected stock of much smaller shops. Sadly, the cost of High Street leases and the advent of internet sites devoted to secondhand books have more or less done for the secondhand bookshop and few now exist in the major British towns. So let’s take a step back and run our eye across a couple of shelves here at Ackroyd Towers and see what’s what.

Saturday, 6 May 2017

Tilda -- A Comedy in Six Acts -- 4.5

Tachybaptus, Going Postal



Outside the Gate of the Citadel of Allium. CITIZENS are passing in the
STREET. Enter TILDA and ETTY, in their usual Attire.

Friday, 5 May 2017

L7 - Pretend We're Dead

Operation Jericho Part Two - Low Level Over the Target

Blown Periphery, Going Postal
The run-in along the Albert/Amiens road for the first wave, first section: Smith, Sparks and Jennings

The first take-off was delayed until 1000 hours due to the weather and mission timings.  The first  wave took off in appalling weather conditions, some of the worst the crews had seen.  Visibility was  hampered by snow squalls and four Mosquitos were forced to return due to technical problems.  The  fighter escort group from 198 Squadron was having its own problems.  Three Typhoons at the rear of  the formation lost sight of Flight Lieutenant Dall who was lead and returned to RAF Manston.   Unfortunately due to hasty allocations and briefings, Dall was the only one of the fighter escorts  who knew exactly where they were going.  The fighters flew into a complete whiteout until over the  channel, when they burst out into blue skies.  Although they may have been at the rendezvous point,  no other aircraft were in sight.  Dall circled the formation off the French coast, but made no effort  to fly inland.  The first wave of six Mosquitos of 487 Squadron had been delayed by a matter of  minutes, but such is the significance of timing in air operations, they missed Dall’s circling  Typhoons and pressed on into France unescorted.

Thursday, 4 May 2017

Question Time with Going Postal, 4th May 2017

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby chairs topical debate from Wigan.

On the panel are Conservative Brexit secretary David Davis (top geezer), Labour's shadow business secretary Rebecca Long-Bailey (scally), UKIP leader Paul 'Rick' Nuttall, Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood (from Way-Els) and the CEO of Siemens UK Juergen Maier (obvious plant).

Dario G Feat. Vanessa Quinones - Voices

Jeremy and Seumas in 'Manifesto Mayhem'

DH, Going Postal
'Jeremy, seriously now,' snapped Seumas Milne. 'It's time to put that away.'

He was pacing feverishly back and forth behind the Labour leader's vast oak desk, the knuckles of his  left hand clenched anxiously between his teeth.

Jeremy Corbyn paid him no heed and continued the course of action he had embarked upon some two hours  previously - thumping the desk in front of him with the grim determination of a galley slave drum  beater.

He was leaning forward in his wheelchair, staring intently at the scenes unfolding on the desk in  front of him.

Milne stopped dead and raked an exasperated hand through his sweat-drenched hair. He leaned over the  desk and pulled a gaudy plastic board out of the reach of the Labour leader's skeletal hand.

The old man dealt the empty desk in front of him a few more feeble blows before staring up at Milne  with tears in his eyes.

'But Seumas,' he said, his reedy voice trembling slightly. 'The yellow hippo is still hungry.'

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

French Presidential Election - Le Débat

Coverage courtesy of France 24 starting at 8.00 pm UK time.

Midsummer at Avebury - Part Five

Cynic, Going Postal


Many people enjoyed the Festival and the chance meetings they encountered. Some meetings were not by chance. There were many family and local groups and associations which regularly met at the Festival, and there were more specialised Guilds and groups which arranged to meet there. These were not necessarily religious, although some liked to think that they were under spiritual or religious patronage, and maintained appropriate rites. Usually these meetings were in at inns or houses or encampments in the vicinity but not actually in the Avebury henge. Amongst these was the Guild of St. George. This was a combination of farming and military interests, under the notional patronage of the military saint who had been the patron of England since the Middle Ages, and whose cross had been it's flag, even when subsumed into the Union Jack.This had actually begun in Yorkshire, which had inherited the main use of this symbol, but it had naturally had it's appeal in the other kingdoms also.It's members wore white vestments bearing the upright red cross on ceremonial occasions.The military members wore it with a small red sword in the upper right quadrant (left to an observer in front of it), which was in imitation of the emblem of the long destroyed City of London and it's military tradition and they had taken it's motto, Domine Dirige Nos. The agricultural members wore it with a red spade in the same place. Not surprisingly this was popular with both farmers and Thanes. Some pondered the connection between sword and spade, and the derivation of the suit of spades from 'spada', which had been Spanish for 'sword'. At the lower level, many soldiers came from rural backgrounds. The Thanes who provided the officer class, and many of the civil administrators were usually also landowners. Some of the same men would also offer prayers and sacrifices to Frey and Freyja for fertility and prosperity of their farms and their families, and saw no objection to appealing to Thor or Odin as well as to St. Michael or St. George for help in battle. These people were prominent in the farming displays and competitions, and in the military demonstrations which were also popular with the public. There was strong interest in maintaining and improving farming techniques and the fertility and happiness of the crops and animals and wild creatures as well as the human inhabitants of the Land. Farmers' groups organised talks, demonstrations and competitions, and nature druids sought to find means of obtaining the co-operation of the spirits of nature, particularly the followers of the Blessed Crombie of Findhorn, who encouraged helpful rites and practices. Devotions to Frey and Freyja were also popular for similar reasons. Brigit or St. Bride was increasingly popular in the north, where long before she had been the goddess of the Brigantes, and Bran again had devotees among the druids.

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Why Not Labour?

Coloniescross, Going Postal

A Personal Analysis of the Upcoming General Election

Politics, as we all know, can sometimes be a very long game, sometimes though things can change very  quickly. As Harold Wilson (there’s another beauty) once famously said “A week is a long time in  politics” and he, if anyone, should have known.

We are all about to have the opportunity to vote in a General Election that is framed, so the major  parties would have you believe, as “The Brexit Election”, personally I think it’s about more than  that. This election is also about the elephant in the room that is mass uncontrolled and, apparently,  uncontrollable immigration. Free movement of people from within the EU is just one part of this  problem. A far greater issue is the desire of all the established UK parties, whatever they currently  say, to push ahead with an immigration programme that, if not exactly designed to do so, will see the  indigenous western cultures, including our own, consigned to the dustbin of history.
Another problem we currently face and one that is not without significance is the insanity of having  a Foreign Aid budget fixed to fluctuations in GDP. 0.7% of this country’s wealth (if it actually  really has any) is spent on aid to other countries. Consultants and Despots get rich and any stupid  moronic programme (Ethiopian Spice Girls anybody) can receive £1 million or more because some cretin  in Whitehall signs a piece of paper.

Monday, 1 May 2017

The Mystery of the Syrian chemical attack

Mr Cloud, Going Postal
On 4 April 2017 something happened in the Islamist held town of Khan Shaykhun in Syria. Precisely what happened is still debated, but it is claimed by alleged witnesses that the attack occurred around or shortly after 6:30 am when a strange odour filled the air minutes after rocket and airstrikes leading to visible signs of poisoning including nausea, foaming at the mouth and muscle spasms. The death toll is reported to be between 70 and 100, with several hundred injured - although it must be emphasised that these figures come from the opposition controlled health authorities and the Turkish government which is openly hostile to the Assad regime in Syria. Tissue and soil samples were taken by Syrian insurgents and passed onto Western intelligence services - also openly hostile to the Assad regime - which claimed to detect the nerve toxin Sarin. Again, there has to be a caveat as the chain of custody can't be assured and the fact Sarin is described as "a colorless, odorless liquid" contradicts claims of "a strange odour".