White House Press Briefing 31st January 2017

Press briefing with Sean Spicer, 6.00 pm

Stoney rearrangements on the south coast

Many moons ago I lived in a poor forgotten area of the south coast.  Not all of it was quaint villages with thatched roof cottages and a village green.  No, where I lived it had a short crumbling high street with a small supermarket, a useful things shop, a bank, and a second hand furniture shop.

But a short walk away, past a long ago closed café, was a beach with a natural bay where I took many a photograph.  By this beach was a small hut and slipway, and on the slipway was a patch of pale blue paint, dropped on the concrete many years ago.  Each visit I set the white balance of my camera against this patch of paint, telling it that was white, so my pictures had a sniff of pale orange, or fawn, where it would be grey or white.

Many people who live inland say they'd love to live by the sea, and the classic trick when trying to relax is to imagine laying on a beach, listening to the waves.  That though is not why I liked the coast.  For me it was the tide.

White House Press Briefing 30th January 2017

Press briefing with Sean Spicer, 6.30 pm

Holidays with kids

The lovely description of his normal family life by our Flying Hippo (http://www.going-postal.net/2017/01/humdrum-and-proud.html) inspired me to put fingers to keyboard (no, The Princess does not put her paws to keyboard, that’s beneath her!) and share memories of what were our normal summer holidays with the kids.
Now you all know (or ought to) that I’m a granny, so these normal holiday memories do go back a bit - about 35 years in fact. Things were different then, there were no smartphones or Nintendos and hair dryers were not deemed to be an item necessary for survival.
Our best holidays, over several summers, were spent in Ireland - camping. That is ‘wild camping’, on pastures or meadows belonging to farmers whom we asked for permission, which was always gracefully given, or in places which didn’t belong to anyone in the wider vicinity. We did ask …

British History: A Providential History

Any Medieval or Ancient Historian can tell you that the people they study understood History and its working quite differently from us today.  Until recently this may not have registered with anybody other than eccentrics like myself or professional scholars, but in this age of ‘constructed narratives’ and ‘fake news’ appreciating and understanding this fundamental point is ever more vital.  And liberating.  Why?  Because it enables us to filter out the biases endemic in any reporting of events or facts, the way they are selected, and the way they are interpreted.  We are no more objective in these things than any other generation, but we don’t recognise it.

Humdrum and proud!

I can’t really moan about my lot - I have a good middle management job, a teacher wife of 15 years and three kids under 8. I think we have done a reasonable job with the offspring they have manners, are well behaved and have benefitted from a father who has a world class repertoire of jokes and puns.

We have a three bedroom detached house in a nice area in West Yorkshire (Yes they still exist), a couple of 10 year old cars, 15 years left on the mortgage and I have a receding hairline. All very normal stuff!

Last Saturday I took my son to Taekwondo and then football training, my wife took my daughter to ballet and afterwards my daughter’s friend returned to our house and we had a lunch of fish fingers, chips and beans. Sometimes I do the ballet run, sometimes my wife does the football. It’s not a “girl-boy thing” it depends what else we have planned. Fear not it’s not true Sharia in the Hippo house yet.

White House Press Briefing 27th January 2017 (Plus Trump May Press Conference)

Press briefing with Sean Spicer, 5.00 pm

Sir Gawain and Owd Grandad Piggott

Now this might seem to be a funny subject for an article, but bear with me. It was a short exchange with biddickhallbootboy of this parish (*waves*) that reminded me of my time working in Stoke, and of its dialect, with the characteristic forms like 'conna, dunna and wunna' for 'can't, don't and won't', and its traditional greeting of ,'Ey up, duck - 'ow at?' ('Hello, mate - how are you?'). Duck in this instance is supposed to come from 'duke', as a mark of respect, and is applied to both men and women. For a time in the 1980s, a best-selling item in Hanley's museum was a mug featuring Stokie phrases, entitled 'Afer toke rate' ('How To Speak Correctly'). Hanley is the centre of Stoke, except it isn't, because Stoke is actually somewhere else. Hope that clears that up. The dialect continued via the strip cartoon May un Mah Lady ('My Wife and I') in the Sentinel newspaper, and also through local character Owd Grandad Piggott (supposedly based on a real person who lived two doors down from his chronicler), who had a tendency to evade responsibility for wrongdoing by saying things like 'It wonna me. Ah've got six brothers, un thay all lewk lahk may' and supposedly once tried to escape being arrested by declaring 'Ey up! Ah've gorra disease'.

Question Time with Going Postal, 26th January 2017

Graphic EJ

David Dimbleby chairs topical debate from London.

On the panel are Conservative MP James Cleverly (nonentity), shadow home secretary Diane Abbott (FFRC), SNP leader in Westminster Angus Robertson (Nazi), Mirror Online journalist Susie Boniface (#fakenews) and the self-styled 'Britain's only Conservative-voting comedian' Geoff Norcott (Who?).

White House Press Briefing 26th January 2017 (Plus Trump at the GOP Retreat)

Press briefing with Sean Spicer (Live at 7.00 pm)

The Butterfly Effect, Part Three

The official explanation, released under tremendous national and international pressure, was that in the haste to comply with sudden deployment orders, corners had been cut, safety procedures ignored, mistakes had been made, and lessons had been learned. It was assumed that pilot error had been the inadvertent cause of the first explosion, directly over the Capitol, and that the other planes of the flight had been caught in the blast and their weapons had 'cooked off'. Certainly none of the crew survived to confirm or deny this story. Shortly thereafter the base from which they had flown was closed, the formation was disbanded, the ground crews and administrators left the service. They and the families of the aircrew disappeared from public view. Embarrassment? Punishment? Flight? Retrenchment? Cover-up? Coincidence? You may think as you please but you'll get no more comment on this matter from the IMG.

There are always those who claim that 'an official statement' is the very definition of a lie. Of course there may also be those who will counter object that the officials whose statements gave rise to such cynicism were those who were incinerated in the Washington Catastrophe, as it came to be called. (Or The Great Deliverance, as others came to call it.)

Speculation continues. What really happened, and why? Did simple carelessness bring down a great nation at a crucial moment and at the same time preserve it? The consequences continue to proliferate. Could such significant events have followed from insignificant causes?

White House Press Briefing 25th January 2017

Press briefing with Sean Spicer

President Trump Speech at the Department of Homeland Security (live at 7.00 pm).

All videos should be re-playable. F5/refresh.

PMQs with Going Postal, 25th January 2017

Gif EJ

PMQs live stream here on Going Postal TV.

The Butterfly Effect, Part Two

The military command of such of the military as remained willing to obey their commands were too burdened to do anything about this, especially as the catastrophe which eliminated the source of legitimate authority had weakened their own. Formally there had been a continuity of government plan. Some of the Washington politicians had been supposed to stay away from the State of the Union speech to constitute a kernel of government in the case of some disaster wiping out the others. If that had happened it had become irrelevant, because none had survived the nuclear catastrophe. Plenty of ambitious state governors and other politicians had demanded a quick replacement of the Federal government, usually under some scheme which would benefit he who proposed it. Consequently each was opposed by the others. Quick elections were deemed impracticable, not least because several important Democratic states were in chaos, (and their populations much reduced so it was not clear how much representation they should have) so their state politicians demanded that they should be allowed to constitute a new Federal Government - 'that's what Hillary would have wanted' they claimed, but failed to convince each other, let alone Republicans. Foreign governments and financial markets were also keen to have a clear centre of authority in the USA. Thus the military command felt obliged to constitute themselves an interim government and to declare martial law in the east coast states north of Washington. The rest of the states vigorously denied that they had any problems which would justify any such action, and disputed the competence of the military command to take such action and to make itself a replacement for the Federal government. Indeed, California had the impertinence to suggest that as the largest state still in good order that adhered to the dead President's programme, they should assume the Federal government for the remainder of her term, and that San Francisco should replace Washington as Federal capital. This idea was not well received by the other states or by the Interim Military Government.

The Butterfly Effect, Part One

See how beautiful and delicate they are. Notice how various are the designs upon their wings, as if they are transmitting messages of silent beauty individually and in combination, which we usually do not see or consider, and how our lack of consideration bothers them not at all. Regard their unhurried fluttering, moving short distances, their apparently whimsical journeying and unpredictable halts, with closed or gently opening and closing wings as they seem to delight in the sunlight, the plants and the breeze, following some combination of instinct and free choice which is to us mysterious, yet evocative once we pay attention to it. Fragile, gentle, short lived creatures, but following a life cycle of astounding changes of form, and capable of immense migrations, manifesting much greater strength and endurance than we would at first sight be inclined to credit to them. If 'the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world', in a similar vein it was jestingly suggested that the causes of events may be so small, numerous, complicated, entangled and obscure, that the slight perturbation of the atmosphere caused by the unplanned and unperceived flutter of a butterfly's wings might be the trigger of enormous effects in the world at large.

Ancient Algorithms and RSA Encryption

Standing on the Shoulder of Giants showed that algebra had been studied for thousands of years by mathematicians in Ancient Egypt, Babylon, Ancient Greece, India and China before al-Khwarzmi of Persia wrote his text on it in 830 A.D. 

Someone asked in the comments about the derivation of the word algorithm.  The etymology comes from his name; in 825 A.D. he wrote a text in arabic taken from Sanskrit texts on the Indian numerals.  In the 12th century this was in turn translated into Latin as Algoritmi de numero Indorum or (in English)  Algoritmi on the numbers of the Indians.

There's another possible explanation. Look again at the title: Algoritmi de numero Indorum. At the time of writing the text, there was no printing press, texts were copied by hand and scribes were not that precise. So the title, in modern eyes, could very well have been meant to read "Algoritmi: De Numero Indorum", like e.g. Shakespeare: Hamlet. Confusion in later generations caused by sloppy copying abounds - ask anyone who's tried to get to grips with the New Testament as preserved on scrolls from that time and transcribed into books.  Thus, taking author plus title for the whole.

Some Speculative Theology

After the most unexpectedly generous response to my article of Christmas Eve I somewhat recklessly promised some respondents that I would write something similar occasionally, and this article has been buzzing around within my febrile mind ever since, competing with other subjects for my attention.  So to relieve the pressure on my sanity I cast it before you and beg your indulgence.  It will probably get me accused of heresy and theological ignorance by some, but it’s how I make sense of my beliefs.  If this subject is of no interest, please forgive me.  Again, it is written to explain, not to persuade.

Donald J Trump, the 45th President of the United States of America

So, yesterday was a momentous day. It is either the start of a new age, or the ending of civilization, depending on your point of view.

I want to say something different about Donald Trump.

It is on occasion a politician’s duty to let down his supporters. This applies doubly to a leader, a head of state. It may even be his noblest duty, the point at which he either cleaves to his democratic legitimacy, or shears off into tyranny. And he may have to disabuse both his supporters and his opponents of the true nature of their situation. If anyone doubts this, just consider Winston Churchill’s words of 13th May, 1940, as he stood before the House of Commons for the first time as the leader of the nation:

The Inauguration of President Donald J Trump

Ronald Reagun's Oath Of Office

Constitutional Matters Matter. (It’s why we voted LEAVE)

There are so many unsung heroes, thousands, that contributed at different times and in different ways to the achievement of a Leave vote in the Referendum on 23rd June 2016. Now I am not a lawyer (hurrah!). Not that one needs to be to study the law, but there are many who do study it, deeply. Richard North is a name that will be familiar to many and to whom the term “Flexit” can be credited. So much time, so many hours of study and learning – a part played. An acquaintance of mine, NickC, is one such student and has some time ago corresponded at length with Richard North. Freedom and our freedoms are paramount; British Law must prevail once these dark days of Europhilia are behind us. But we are where we are.

NickC has kindly shared his thoughts on the “Gina Miller” case, which others of a ‘legal anorak’ persuasion may wish to share their thoughts on below the line, though as many will be aware – No-one Reads The Comments.

“….The constitutional basis of the court case won by "Gina Miller" is that the government (i.e. the executive) cannot use its prerogative powers to remove "rights" enacted by Parliament. That principle is absolutely fundamental to our freedom under the law. I support it completely.  However, The High Court was persuaded by the claimant's lawyers that the principle defined above was applicable.

Question Time with Going Postal, 19th January 2017

Graphic EJ

David Dimbleby chairs topical debate from Peterborough.

On the panel are transport secretary Chris Grayling (Wet), shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry (Really? FFS), broadcaster Piers Morgan (Cunt, no question), American author Lionel Shriver (Almost certainly a far-left loon) and the co-editor of The Conservative Woman website, Laura Perrins (Babe?).

You are what you eat

I was reminded in a discussion with Mrs Bassman (yes, we do have them) that in our youngest days the only place you could lay your hands on olive oil was inside the medicine cupboard. Its sole function was to loosen earwax, working away beneath a layer of cotton wool. It was commonplace to see people in the street with cotton wool in an ear as it was to see a one-legged man, or a child with a blocked-out spectacles lens (National Health, of course,) to correct a lazy eye. I recall that my mother's medicine cupboard also contained a dropper bottle of tincture of cannabis for relieving toothache. Absolutely no connection was made with narcotics. I digress. Not only was olive oil missing from the cooking repertoire, but I don't recall the presence of any herbs apart from mint, the onlie begetter of mint sauce for lamb. Nothing alcoholic was ever sloshed into an aromatic sauce, Keith Floyd-style; no cream was ever whipped up, no pasta - well, no pasta. The nearest we came to the joys of the Italian cucina was a tin of Heinz spaghetti which, it has to said, I enjoyed on a slice of toast. I don't want to lapse into a "lived in a rolled-up newspaper" contest. We are not quite talking post-war here, and although rationing existed in my childhood I don't really remember it. In fact, things were probably improving as far as my war-weary parents were concerned. They were on the property ladder and my father had a good job. My mother's problem - and I see this now in hindsight - was that she wasn't a very good cook. I was aware that cooking could be of a higher standard, because her own mother, my nan, was better. Mind you, she had the wonderful produce of a Lincolnshire garden to play with. She also deployed brown sugar from a blue bag, something that seemed to elude my poor mum. So there we have it. My diet was constrained by the ingredients available and my mother's lack of skill (and interest, I now think) in the kitchen. It must have been so boring for her to come up with meals from scratch every day. Shopping bags had to be made of durable materials in those days, so frequently were they used. There were flashes of pleasure: a lemon meringue, home-made chips, tinned peaches with condensed milk, but, alas, the picture was more one of boiling cabbage, plain cakes and indifferent pastry.

Manners maketh the Lady and Gentleman

Having read the nice article on Profanity here at GP: (http://www.going-postal.net/2017/01/oh-profanity.html),
I felt the urge to think about manners - the opposite, one assumes, of profanity and came to an astonishing conclusion.

In the first place, we all assume that profanity is used exclusively by the ‘lower classes’, sniff, and that a proper Hyacinth Bucket would therefore never demean herself by using swear words: too lowering.
Well - yes, but the funny thing is that, as always, it’s only the straight-laced Middle Classes who think so. The aristocracy sees nothing wrong with using ‘strong language’, nor do the ‘lower orders’. It was the Great Duke (you know by now who that is, don’t you?) who used the word ‘scum’ when describing his soldiers - a word lovingly used nowadays by those who deem themselves to be ‘working class’ to ‘demean’ the despised middle class, and never mind that they themselves come from well to-do middle class families with a great education. They use it because they think using such words makes them, ahem, ‘working class’ - but they are behind the times, and show yet again that they have understood nothing.

PMQs with Going Postal, 18th January 2017

Gif EJ

PMQs live stream here on Going Postal TV.

Oh, the profanity!

It's long been associated with anger and coarseness but profanity can have another, more positive connotation. Psychologists have learned that people who frequently curse are being more honest. Writing in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science a team of researchers from the Netherlands, the UK, the USA and Hong Kong report that people who use profanity are less likely to be associated with lying and deception.

Profanity is obscene language which, in some social settings is considered inappropriate and unacceptable. It often refers to language that contains sexual references, blasphemy or other vulgar terms. It's usually related to the expression of emotions such as anger, frustration or surprise. But profanity can also be used to entertain and win over audiences.

No Shit, Sherlock

Sherlock Holmes. The greatest fictional detective ever created and despite other later iconic creations that have graced the cinema and television screens  -  Maigret, Poirot, Morse - he will remain forever at the very pinnacle of that genre. Created by Arthur Conan Doyle in 1887, Sherlock Holmes made his very first appearance in Beeton’s Christmas Magazine of that year in “A Study in Scarlet”. As can be appreciated, a paper covered magazine issued some 130 years ago will be lucky to have survived at all in the intervening years and all remaining copies - probably less than 10 - are now housed either in private hands or libraries. If one should ever come to the market it would easily fetch £ tens of thousands.  The author, aged just 27, received the princely sum of £25 in return for all the rights - a mistake he was never to make again.

Being There

Like me, you may remember this film.  Being There is a 1979 American comedy-drama film directed by Hal Ashby starring Peter Sellers as Chance, the gardener.  He is simple-minded, and his knowledge is derived entirely from television.  Simple words are repeatedly misunderstood as profound; in particular, his statements about gardens and the weather are interpreted as allegorical statements about business and the economy. 

He ends up ‘advising’ the President of the United States as everyone is fooled into thinking that Chance is very clever, gifted and insightful.  He remains very mysterious, as the Secret Service is unable to find any background information about him. Public opinion polls start to reflect just how much his "simple brand of wisdom" resonates with the jaded American public.  He fooled everybody, not deliberately, but because everyone wanted to believe that Chance was special and gifted.  He wasn’t.

A Dream. A Fantasy. Surely nothing like this could ever happen? Part Four

The Lord Protector’s Government has been in office for 180 days and the pace of new announcements of reform is slowing as all arms of the State are fully occupied in implementing actions already started and in preparing for those passing through Parliament.

There have been significant protests from the usual suspects, but the prescription that up to 4th generation immigrants will be deported without appeal if convicted of a criminal offence has suppressed much dissent.  There have been spasmodic instances of disorder, rioting and even terrorism, but they have amounted to little.  There were attempts in certain wards of Bradford and East London to declare independent Islamic Republics, but the Lord Protector declared 22 hour daily curfews and sent in the military with orders to shoot on sight any curfew breakers.  RAF armed and reconnaissance drones mount 24 hour surveillance of these areas and others, and have conducted missile strikes on buildings and vehicles under suspicion.

The UN tried to pass a motion of sanctions against HM Government, but this was defeated by the vetoes of the UK, USA and Russia, with China abstaining.  Individual countries have adopted sanctions against the UK, but not sufficient to cause much damage to the economy, and many European governments are facing growing demands from their populaces to adopt similar policies to those of the UK.

UNKLE - The Answer - Ross Cairns director

DJ MJ

A day In the Life Of The Iron Duke Of North Chingford., Part Three, 'Old Vi's Surgical Stockings'

I Popped over to Old  Vi's over the road this morning. Electric facking been cut off. Had to facking hook a cable up in the daft old sow's kitchen. The Cunt  only had a look on her boat all moosey faced like !!...I  says Vi my gel, Vi I says,  "if you cant do nothing for a neighbour in need we might as well go in live in the jungle Like that Black  bird at number 22"  I says..Facking cannibals ! I says. Dont bear thinking about. FGM I says!!, Whats all that about? .Cutting themselves Vi !. You tell me ! .I dont know. Facking Crying Shame if truth be Fackin told.

"one step up from the pg tips monkey" I says .lovely arse though Vi i says...phwooar!!.could do me a turn that black gel i says to Vi like. Right on my Fackin boat Race. Alien Face Hugger!.  Get the juices flowing right enough. No need for your leccy then Vi!!. No Vienesse Whirls  and Sterilised Tea .Fack that.  Nah,  good woman, that's what I need. I says to Vi, I says "you want to make yourself a bit more presentable my Gel ". "Fuck this lymphoma" . In one ear out of the other. Know what I mean?.I said to Vi , "you probably haven't had it since old Wilf  left for Juno beach " ave ya my gel!.

Question Time with Going Postal, 12th January 2017

Graphic EJ

David Dimbleby chairs topical debate from Solihull.

On the panel are David Lidington, Conservative leader of the House of Commons (Establishment); Labour MP and chair of the Vote Leave campaign Gisela Stuart (Sane Labour party MP); businessman, Brexit campaigner and Ukip donor Arron Banks (Top man); journalist and broadcaster Paul Mason (Marxist nutter); professor of planetary space science at the Open University Monica Grady (Climate change nutter).

Greatest Generations and all that…

One of the phrases that has crept into circulation, mainly by way of films like ‘Saving Private Ryan’ and ‘Band of Brothers’, based on the work of historian Stephen Ambrose, is the idea that the Second World War generation is the greatest we have seen.  It’s more an American notion, but it has spread over here too, the idea that after the last war the people of the West are lesser somehow than they were before, as if our civilisation peaked during the sacrifices of the struggles against Nazi and Japanese brutality.

I don’t want to knock the idea that it was a great generation. Indeed, I grew up surrounded by members of it, and they were wonderful people, almost universally modest, kind, interested in others, not materialistic, just decent, but with steel beneath. 

But we British are not given to the transient hyperbole of the Americans and I struggle to see that the WW2 generation are any greater than the WW1 generation.  In some ways their struggle was more desperate, a more climactic battle between Good and Evil, but then I think of the sheer stoical courage of the men who spent four years in the trenches of WW1, who obeyed orders to get up out of the ground and cross hundreds of yards of wire, muddy, mined and exposed ground into a hail of lead, gas and TNT.

President-Elect Donald Trump Holds Press Conference at Trump Tower 11th January 2017

PMQs with Going Postal, 11th January 2017

Gif EJ

PMQs live stream here on Going Postal TV.

Regina Quondam, Rex Futurusque

A grateful nation today gives thanks for the recovery of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth from a nasty virus. However, as the outpouring of national joy subsides to a steady, contented hum we are left facing an unpalatable truth: that the Queen, David Icke notwithstanding, is mortal. At some point the thorny issue of succession to the throne will have to be faced. A while ago palace insiders were bruiting it about that the succession might skip both a generation and the obvious candidate, and instead devolve upon Prince William Arthur Phillip Louis. This seems to have come to naught, and it is likely that we will see King Charles III invested at Westminster Abbey in the relatively near future.

The Ghost of Hougoumont

The Duke of Wellington has many remarks attributed to him, but most are likely to be inventions of Victorian romanticism: early fake news. One thing we can be sure he did say, because he wrote it, was that the success of the battle of Waterloo turned upon the closing of the gates of Hougoumont. This famous action was painted almost a century later by Robert Gibb of The Thin Red Line and other war paintings. What was the importance? I'm sure many of you are aware of it, but it bears repeating that Wellington's right wing rested on the farm complex which stood almost half way between the opposing lines. Over the years historians have argued that Napoleon intended only to mask the farm with enough of a threat to draw forces away from Wellington’s centre, allowing for a crushing infantry assault. In fact, the reverse happened and the struggle over the farm became a drain on French manpower. Others contend that Napoleon was fully committed to occupying the stronghold and to roll up the English line. There is no room for debate over Wellington's view of the outpost's importance. He sent an aide-de-camp twice to ensure that his order to hold the farm at any cost was quite understood.

Claycat's Hitman Absolution

DJ MJ

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

I had always associated the phrase "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants" with Sir Isaac Newton. (Letter to Hooke, 1676).  That is, we build our knowledge on previous work done by others and it would be arrogant to claim it all for oneself.

Only ignorance would deny proven work that has gone before.

In fact, the phrase is much older.  Here it is at Chartres Cathedral (circa 1215); Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are standing on the shoulders of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Daniel.

Baking bread with Going Postal

With Christmas now history, I put to you, what has been your most useful/favourite Christmas present in recent years? For me, it was not last year’s set of kitchen knives and four cans of special brew from the Mother in Law, but a simple bread maker, the Morphy Richards Fastbake.

Having always been happy enough to eat the stuff you get in the shops, unwrapping a large present to find this item was initially a bit of a let down. Once started using it, though this has changed completely.

Pulp - Babies

DJ MJ

Round and round we go (Postscript)

Everybody likes butterflies. People kill them and put them in glass cages because they look so pretty.
The life cycle is quite amazing it is like 2 creatures sharing the same life.

Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot

DJ MJ Dedicated to the GP Ladiez

The German Genesis (not a rock band)

Per the ancient chronicles of India, the earth is resting on a finely balanced, infinite number of tortoise, while reports from some South American natives have it that the cosmos came into being when a rather large chicken laid an egg. Germans in turn believe that their world was created by Mrs. Merkel. Some would say she’s a mad cow but I guess that’s still better than being a chicken or a tortoise. 

In the beginning, there was the word. And the word was: “Come all, you people from all over the world and have a jolly good time at my taxpayers’ expense”. You see: it’s always very easy to be generous with things you don’t own, such as public monies, and politicians are masters of such generosity. Being an exceedingly good politician, Mrs. Merkel is also exceedingly big. Pity she has so little integrity.

So, everybody came and soon enough large queues formed at border crossings all over the Continent. Greek islands became unseasonably crowded and the countries of Southeast Europe were inundated by a swelling stream of people. Some leaders dared challenge the so-called mad cow but she kicked them where the sun won’t shine. And she saw it was good.

George Michael - Flawless (Go to the City)

DJ MJ Dedicated to the GP Ladiez

2017 – What a year!

"I'm dangling from a lamp post at the corner of the street"

As we ease ourselves into 2018 I thought I would offer a personal retrospective of 2017, as I'm sure we all agree that it was quite an exceptional year in a number of ways.

There were so many highlights (and lowlights) that it's hard to know where to start, but I've picked out a few of my favourites for your delectation.

Sex Machine 2017

See the video here: https://youtu.be/5YiiuhrCZK4

DJ MJ

The GP Advent Calendar of Cuisine - Bluesman's Onion Soup

Not really an Advent dish but a robust simple dish suitable for hangovers.

You will need:

• Some onions
• Some garlic
• Some olive oil
• Some water
• Some beef stock
• Some bread
• Some cheese
• Some cider
• Some salt
• Some pepper

Round and round we go

When I was born on the cold kitchen floor of the little farmhouse in Thornes near Wakefield my grandmother said "He has been here before"
because I was looking about.
I always seemed to sense things differently to my contemporaries I think because sleep for me was a scary thing.
Every possible scenario I played out even to "What the fuck will I do if dinosaurs are walking in the street outside ? How will I protect my parents ?"
So in the daytime I was unperturbed by anything because I had already run every scenario through in my mind.
At night angels were in the pictures made by the lace curtains and the streetlight outside my bedroom, always protecting me and one time real aliens visited me and found a little bit of evil sticking out of my skin and they pulled it and it was like a tree roots, they pulled all of the evil from me. I felt it leaving me and I was so grateful that they did that for me.

The 2016 Song

DJ MJ

Cheers to 2016

I have spent my entire adult life watching this once great nation, sliding inexorably into the abyss. I have no desires of Empire, of ruling over others, of waging great wars, or swaggering. I have merely wished to live in a safe, prosperous homeland for Brits.

Sunnier climes, although acceptable, have no great draw for me. Colder climes have limited appeal; I am content with the weather and environment of England.

Born into the era of the moon landings, I understood both our proud and glorious past,  and that the world had changed and we were a superpower no more. Content with that  position, I was more interested in having been bequeathed a wonderful nation with so much opportunity, choice, security, civility, and natural beauty. I was very keen that the nation's finances be put on an even keel for my future and that of future  generations.

Coming Home Best Of Kygo Mix 2017

DJ MJ

The This Red Line

A fellow poster suggested that I should write a piece about the art of…er…writing since it has become, rather later in life than I would have liked, my profession. Flattering as this suggestion is - and there is nothing a writer likes than to be able to waffle on endlessly about themselves - I really wanted to link it to something a bit more pertinent to the GP ethos and which everyone may, hopefully find interesting and thought-provoking.

Let’s take a good look at the photo at the top of this piece. Many of you will probably be familiar with the image as it is one that has been reproduced many times in histories and documentaries of the Second World War. It shows Josef Kramer, the erstwhile Kommandant of Belsen-Bergen concentration camp shortly after its liberation by the British army in April 1945. Putting aside, for the moment, that this is probably one of a number of staged propaganda pictures my eye was immediately drawn not to Kramer but to the figure on the left of the picture – the soldier holding up his rifle as if he was about to fire. My imagination immediately whirred into action. Who was this? Why has he got his rifle at the shoulder when the officer is suitably armed and Kramer is in leg irons? It is a simple, impenetrable, question which only served to prick the curiosity of this writer even further. Thus began the weeks of research and development of a vital part of the story which would lead to turning the novel on its head, moving motives from one leading character to another and providing a convincing psychological background to the events that would engulf and destroy both the guilty and innocent in the years post 1945.