Monday, 31 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Warren, Michigan (31st October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan (31st October, 2016)

History - boring old stuff, innit, really ..

Colliemum, Going Postal

Those of us who attended school when that meant actually learning instead of ‘exploring feelings’, when learning meant actually acquiring new knowledge which we could and would be asked about; when spelling and grammar was not optional, when handwriting had to be legible or else; when multiplication tables had to be rattled down by heart, the capitals of important countries had to be known and placed approximately where they belonged on a blank map, just as river names had to be known by heart and one was asked to draw them in on a blank map - in those good old days History with a very capital “H” was about lists of kings and queens, the dates of their reigns, their battles, their adversaries - and for good measure who killed whom.
One could dissect plants and frogs, one could make stinks in chemistry, one could find out about electricity, making sparks …
The drawback of course was that the old teachers always controlled that one had actually learned what they taught: stand in front of the class and recite, or draw on the blackboard - and usually sit down covered in shame … (that’s me, in Maths …)
But already, the rot had set in imperceptibly and kept spreading silently, so that in today’s schools, History is about imagining what one would’ve ‘felt like’ as slave, rather than about what actually happened. For example, if and when there’s actually a bit about the Royal Navy being taught, it’s never about how ordinary men - not aristocrats - could climb to the top of the ladder, on merit. It’s instead about poor little tykes sent to sea age 12 as midshipmen: omigawd, child labour! Or it is about seamen being flogged - the horror!  - for small criminal acts, overlooking the fact that on land, people were hanged for those same acts.

Sunday, 30 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Albuquerque, New Mexico (30th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Greeley, Colorado (30th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Las Vegas, Nevada (30th October, 2016)

Another Day in the Madhouse

As could be expected, the clearing of the Calais jungle has not been a very huge success. While about 3000 migrants “voluntarily” agreed to being bused to other parts of France (helped by a few hundred flics) as many as 5000 stayed in the camp (all figures according to the Express).  

And that’s not even counting those who in the meantime have relocated to other camps along the coast of France and Flanders, e.g. Sangatte.

guardiancouncil, Going Postal
I would have liked to add the cartoon characters but that'd get Bob into trouble.
Also, parking lots for lorries have become a huge attraction to the more agile young men who have set their minds on reaching Britain at any cost. So instead of haunting the motorway that leads to the channel tunnel, they now spook lorry drivers in Belgium while the latter are trying to enjoy a well-earned rest before their final running of the gauntlet on the way to Britain the next day. 

The refugee crisis is of course entirely man (and woman) made. Whether its making is intentional or not is neither here nor there but one thing is certain: it is entirely avoidable. It has been brought to us by open borders "activists" and per the EU’s Schengen agreement. People in Europe did this - not any old war in the Mid East alone.

Saturday, 29 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Phoenix, Arizona (29th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Golden, Colorado (29th October, 2016)

"Brian, what does wanker mean?", "Masturbate."

Going Postal

As Woody Allen once said, “Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love”.
OK, stop sniggering, this is a serious topic.  Due to the personal nature of this, it is something we tend not  speak about.  Men do it, women do it, and I would guess those identifying themselves as something else do it.

There are many euphemisms for this activity, some of my favourite ones being, for men; tossing, 5 knuckle shuffle,  choking the chicken, jerkin the gherkin, spanking the monkey, hand to gland combat. 

For the gentlemen, only: - Before reading the euphemisms for lady masturbation, see how many you know first, I  would guess 2 or at most 4. Ladies, I would guess, will know a lot more. I have put these at the end of this article.

Friday, 28 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (28th October, 2016)

Trump follows up in Cedar Rapids after Clinton rally.

Donald Trump Rally in Lisbon, Maine (28th October, 2016)

latest news, FBI has reopened its case into Clinton.

Donald Trump Rally in Manchester, New Hampshire (28th October, 2016)

Escape with the Country

1642again, Going Postal

Mr John Bull and family have grown disillusioned with their neighbourhood over the forty years in which they lived  there.  It wasn’t too bad at first although their French neighbours kept stealing from their vegetable patch in  the middle of the night and the service charges of living on their private gated estate were steep, but these  things seemed acceptable considering he had felt forced to leave their previous home in Empire Crescent following  the break-up of his marriage.

The problems started when a Spanish family moved in and stole all the fish from his fish pond and laid claim to a  corner of his rockery.  The Spaniards were poor and couldn’t afford to maintain their house and so the Estate  Committee upped the service charge to ensure their property was maintained and did not reduce the value of the  other houses.

Then a Greek family moved in, or rather squatted in a tent on the grass verge opposite Mr Bull’s house and started  begging for basic provisions and bringing in distant relatives as the Cypriot family.  They were later joined by a  whole host of other new incomers with names the Bulls couldn’t understand and which started camping on his lawn,  demanding small jobs for cash and indulging in some shady activities after dark.

Thursday, 27 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Geneva, Ohio (27th October, 2016)

Question Time with Going Postal, 27th Oct 2016

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Gloucester. On the panel are Conservative business secretary Greg Clark MP, Labour's shadow brexit secretary Keir Starmer MP, president of the Liberal Democrats Baroness Brinton, film maker Ken Loach and Dia Chakravarty of the TaxPayers' Alliance.

Donald Trump Rally in Toledo, Ohio (27th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Springfield, Ohio (27th October, 2016)

A Day In The Life Of The Iron Duke Of Chingford, Part Two 'Old Vi over the road'

Eraser of Love, Going Postal
Had a fucking skinfull last night on the way home and thought id pop into old vi's Before going Home and use it as a bargaining tool for the enevitable onslaught of my failings as a hunter gatherer and general Homo sapien when i got thru my own fucking  front door .

After talking about her various tumors and how long she has to live  and how none of her family come to see her and that the "vultures are circling"  for her goods and chattels,  I realised id made a mistake of some note and was bored Fackin  shitless.

To cheer her up i cut her off talking all this morose shit and told her of my theory on dormant alien life in north chingford and  " it very well may be that they will have some form of antenna which will make a clicking and whirring sound like a locust when sexually  aroused, possibly producing a semen type fluid not found on our periodic tables ."

Holidays, High Days, Birthdays and the Rape of a Continent

Coloniescross, Going Postal

For many people certain years are marked in their memories by the events of the time, whether they are personal or historic. “Milestone” years, birthdays that end in a zero, silver wedding etc. are often commemorated by doing something extra special to mark the occasion. This in turn creates deep and lasting memories, memories of people and places that, however old and forgetful one may get, stay firmly lodged in the mind. So it is with death, illness and tragedy, people remember where they were and what they were doing when real tragedy strikes.

Annus Horribilis

For Colin Cross the year 2001 started very badly and continued to disappoint as it wore on. What should have been a momentous period in his life was coloured by a number of friend and family deaths, most of which were unexpected.

Charlie Cross, Colin’s father, finally succumbed to bowel cancer on January 5th 2001, his death wasn’t unexpected but Charlie and Colin had only just reconciled after many years and much that could have been said and done ended up staying unsaid and not done. This weighed heavily on Colins mind.  Colin wasn’t happy in his work, 60-70 hours a week and working every weekend was taking its toll both on his body and at home. Colin was secretly gambling and consuming far too much alcohol than he knew was good for him. In March Colin got the news that one of his closest friends had died in a car accident in Eire, leaving a wife and young family, within 2 months 2 of his neighbours, both friends, died suddenly and without warning. In September that year we were treated to the 9/11 atrocity.

On the 2nd of October Colin got a phone call from his sister informing him that their mother had been taken ill, without warning, and was in a pretty bad way.  On the same day Colin, worse for drink, fell in the bath and cracked a bone in his wrist meaning his journey back to Yorkshire needed to be done by train rather than by car. Jane Church, nee Cross, nee Penstock died in terrible pain in a filthy unlit room at Doncaster Royal Infirmary on Saturday 6th October and Colin and his sister became orphans.

Things Start to Look Up

Here we get to the real point of the tale, Mrs Cross had long been planning a trip to Rome to celebrate Colins 50th, at first he had said to cancel when he was told about it, but was convinced that it would do him good, life goes on after all. Rome, in 2001, was a fantastic vibrant city, food and drink were reasonably priced, the streets were relatively clean and Colin and his wife had a wonderful time. They ate pizza and drank Peroni near the Trevi fountain on the Friday, walked miles to visit the Vatican and to eat in Trastaverte on the Saturday night (without any concern for their well being),  the walk back to the hotel, stopping for the occasional Limoncello was one of the highlights of the weekend . They visited the Coliseum on the Sunday and ate a wonderful meal served by red jacketed and bow tied waiters in the Quattro Fuomi Restaurant in the Piazza Navona on the Sunday evening.

Colin’s belief that Rome and not Paris was the jewel of mainland Europe was, to his mind, proved. Yes there had been Roma beggars in the piazza’s and an African man had tried to sell him a rose on the Sunday night,   there were some homeless people living rough by the Termini Roma but, all in all the experience was so great and memorable that the crap of the previous 10 months faded and the trip to Italy was the abiding memory of 2001. The coin, flipped into the Trevi fountain was, Colin hoped, a precursor to further visits.

Fast forward now to 2011 and Colins 60th.  Colin had a great job by now and he had just moved into his new house, friends hosted his 60th birthday and the Cross women had provide 60 individual presents for Colin to open. The last one, a large coloured envelope, contained tickets to the Italy v England 6 nation’s game in March, coupled with a 3 night break in Rome. How Colin beamed, Rome, his favourite city in the world, to be shared with his wife and daughters, he couldn’t think of anything more enjoyable.

March 2012 in Rome was cold and snowy, the streets were dirty and on the Friday night, even at 9.45 nearly everywhere near the apart-hotel they’d booked was closed but they managed to scare up a pizza and a beer and turned in, ready for the Saturday adventure. What a change had taken place in 10 years, the walk to the Termini was through streets lined with African men noisily selling counterfeit rubbish from blankets, the buildings around the station area looked neglected and all the little cafes were now full of immigrants on computers. One of the biggest changes was the prices, which were extraordinarily expensive, even given that the English were in town.  The piazza’s were full of immigrants and the atmosphere was less than convivial, Colin couldn’t believe how much change there had been and, from what he could see, not for the better. It snowed before and during the match and England scraped a win, the evening meal on the Sunday was excellent (The Quattro Fuomi was closed and shuttered) but, all in all, Rome wasn’t the city that Colin remembered.

Now, here we are a couple of weeks from Colins 65th and we live on a continent that has been culturally and financially raped by an organisation that is determined to create a homogenous super state. An organisation that is so deeply amoral and corrupt that it is willing to condone the murder of its citizens and the cultural decline of its peoples for the sake of globalism, elite liberalism and political expediency. An organisation that has been complicit in creating a mass displacement of people that threatens to dwarf the horrors created by WW 11.

On the 23rd June 2016 we made the historical and sensible decision to leave the EU, we knew what we were voting for and we were happy when we won. Those politicians and celebrities that would deny us our voice should travel to one of the major cities in France, Italy, Germany or Spain and stay in a cheap hotel for a couple of nights, they might get the message. Colin didn’t know what his 65th birthday surprise would be; he just hoped it wasn’t a weekend anywhere in mainland Europe. That is a damning indictment on what the EU has created and just one of the many reasons for Britain to leave the EU totally in the hope that the rest of Europe’s indigenous peoples will take similar steps to restore their countries to former glory.

Coloniescross ©

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Kinston, NC (26th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Charlotte, NC (26th October, 2016)

James Taylor - Carolina In My Mind

H/t Old Goat

Trump up at 9.00 pm in, North Carolina . . .

Grand Opening Of The Trump International Hotel in Washington, 26th October 2016

PMQs with Going Postal, 26th October 2016

Going Postal
Gif EJ

PMQs live stream here on Going Postal TV

Garbage - Bleed Like Me


Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Tallahassee, FL (25th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Sanford, FL (25th October, 2016)

The recording below is well worth listening to while waiting for Trump.

Gerrymandering and Boundary Review – With Phil the Test Manager

Going Postal
Following on from an article I wrote about earning the right to vote, Voting-earn the right

I was asked about the upcoming boundary review.  There are various sources of information for the changes  expected, here is the Telegraphs: New Commons boundaries top Conservative government agenda

Re-drawing boundaries just to keep yourself in power, is Gerrymandering.

I do agree that reducing the quantity of MP’s from 650 to 600 is a good start, and I do agree that MP’s should  represent, at least approximately the same number of constituents and that reducing the quantities of MP’s must  mean redrawing the boundaries.  To do so to gain political advantage must never be the reason, but a government of  any colour will always try and take advantage.

The problem with this boundary review in my opinion, is that it does not go far enough.  We must start with the  quantity of MP’s needed.  650 was always way too much, and 600 is still many more than most countries have per  capita.  Compared to other countries, the UK is massively over-represented. We, with a population of 63 million  (probably 70 by now) people, have 650 MPs; Germany, with a population of 82 million, has 600; Japan, with a  population of 127 million – twice the size of ours – has only 470; Russia, with 144 million, has 450; and America, with 293 million, has 430 Congressmen.

The invasion of Devon

There are no jobs in North Devon. The weather is shit most of the time and the medical facilities are being cut back left, right and centre. So what we clearly need is a load of man-children who don’t speak a word of English, let alone Devonian. The fact that they’re France’s problem is neither here nor there to the Quislings in power. This is because to them, the UK and France are merely geographical districts of the EU and the former’s quota of enrichment is lagging behind that of mainland Europe.

The ‘culture’ of the invaders is the polar opposite of ours. Given the scarcity of jobs available in the area, if they were to be employed, they would be taking jobs (and housing, benefits and healthcare) from the people who live here. But again, that’s a good thing for the Globalists, given that their objective is the eradication of any sense of belonging.

Monday, 24 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Tampa, FL (24th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in St. Augustine, FL (24th October, 2016)

With apologies to Bob Newhart and the Walter Raleigh skit

Combat Dave, Going Postal
Telephone rings:

Yeh?... Who is it, Frank?... The Home Secretary?... Yeh?... Yeh, put her on, will you!
Hey, Harry... you wanna pick up the extension?... yeh! it's nutty Amber again!
Hi, Homie baby, how are you, girl? How's everything going?...
Oh, things are fine here, Homie!...
Did we get the what?...
Oh!, the boat load of gimmees, yeh! They arrived fine Amb, as a matter of fact they're still here, they're wanderin' all over London...
Well, y'see, that's an American holiday, Walt!!!...
What you got for us this time, Walt, you got another winner for us?
Tob-acco... er, what's tob-acco, Walt?...
It's a kind of leaf, huh?...
And you bought eighty tonnes of it?!!...
Let me get this straight, Walt, you've bought eighty tonnes of leaves? This may come as a kind of a surprise to you Walt but come fall in England, we're kinda upto our...

Hilbert's Paradox of the Grand Hotel

OldTrout, Going Postal

Mr. RotherhamPoofta visited the site the other day and, as is often the case, he asked me if he should book a room.  He is very sweet and kind and asks this of many people.

I suggested that he should book a room at Hilbert's Grand Hotel.

This hotel has an infinite number of rooms which are occupied.

Sunday, 23 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Naples, FL (23rd October, 2016)

Maneater - Blue Eyed Blondes


A day in the Life of The Iron Duke of North Chingford, Part One.

Going Postal
She was working it like a good 'un . In Full Kit . Deathshead SS Gestapo hat the fackin Lot.I kid you Not my son. Bit of facking role play like.Art for arts sake and all that caper. Good for the soul so they say. Dont ask me. I aint no head doctor . I just knows what I fackin well likes !!.

Anyway , She was placing cocktail sticks in me bollocks accupunture style to paralyse various nerve centers to stop me from going off to soon into her cocked gestapo hat .Bit like 'ker plunk' but with my harry monk replacing the marbles , If that helps you picture the scene with more clarity you dirty cunts.

Going Postal
anyway, there i am, king of the castle, lord of the manor, Cock of the Fackin Walk and about to explode like dry ice and fertiliser in a wogs sock, when fack me !, the fackin door bell goes!. Fack me !! i says to the Missus .Some cunts using up the leccy on That fackin door bell!.Fack that !. Im up in a fackin flash, only turns out to be that dozy old Mare Pat! a lifelong Labour supporter from next door asking me to fix her shopping trolley !!.cunt!.

VOTING – With Phil the Test Manager

Going Postal

Compulsory voting (courtesy of Wikipedia) is a system in which voters are obliged to vote in elections or attend a polling place on voting day. If an eligible voter does not attend a polling place, or lodge a postal vote, he or she may be subject to a penalty such as fines or community service. As of August 2013[update], 22 countries, including 12 Latin American countries, have laws for compulsory voting and 11 of these 22 countries enforce these laws in practice.
The initial question therefore is “Should voting be compulsory?”  I would argue that it should not be, if voting is a civic duty, but would be compulsory, if voting was an earned right.  
If people get sick of their current government, they have no right to complain of they could be not be bothered voting. 

Saturday, 22 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Cleveland, Ohio (22nd October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Virginia Beach, VA (22nd October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania (22nd October, 2016)

The Populist Speaks

Rorschach, Going Postal

For a while before he finally appeared, stirring patriotic music played in the hall decked in jingoist splendor, raising the passions of the waiting crowd. Then with anticipation at fever pitch, the Populist strode onto the stage basking in the roars of approval of his supporters. He gave appreciative gestures, soaking in the cheers and applause, taking his position at the podium.

Odds on randomly meeting someone you know

Gotham must be destroyed, Going Postal
I was at a stage in my life where I just didn't care (it is difficult
to explain, it is like Trusting Life).
Somebody had given me some money ( "never give him any money you will
not see him again" ) for work I had done.
So I thought to go East.
2 weeks previously I had kicked my live in girlfriend out because she
was getting possessive.
I closed up the flat and went to the railway station to get the Paris
train in the evening and I see that it is due out in 2 hours so I go
to the nearest pub and wait.
I return to the station and there has been an error because the train
has departed 1 hour earlier.
I knew where there was an open house party so I wandered off there and
then in the morning headed back to the station.
The train I connected with in France was like a local thing because I
had to change at some rural station.

Friday, 21 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Fletcher, NC (21st October, 2016)

Donald Trump Al Smith Dinner

A view from the public sector

Truthsayer, Going Postal
I have worked in the public sector for most of my working life. I can recall the days when you were just a public servant and not a part of the propaganda machine, with heavily politicised views embedded in public policy across all public bodies,  not to mention the third sector and much of corporate Britain.

Early on in my career I saw a lot of abuse of taxpayers money, lots of suspicious activity by service users, and the arrogance of the ones with a real sense of entitlement. This spurred me into moving on, and I got into an area of enforcement where I get paid to do what is a pleasure: separate those with their false sense of entitlement from their entitlements, tear the abusers away from the taxpayers’ various teats, and deliver some payback.

Even so, the job requires that I have to see some infuriating stuff. Files and papers come across my desk containing some real examples of where our country has gone so wrong and why things like the budget deficit and current account deficit are jammed at nightmare levels; I am seeing the causes of these phenomena at micro level.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Question Time with Going Postal, 20th Oct 2016

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Hartlepool. On the panel are Conservative former chancellor Ken 'the slug' Clarke MP, Labour's shadow education secretary Angela 'ginger' Rayner MP, runner up in the UKIP leadership election Lisa 'Thornberry' Duffy, former Greek finance minister Yanis 'Roussos' Varoufakis and the previous owner of the Daily Telegraph Conrad 'prisoner' Black.

Donald Trump Rally in Delaware, Ohio (20th October, 2016)

Jeer and flout the Devil, for he cannot bear scorn

Roger Ackroyd, Going Postal

    Deep below the Palace of Westminster, that seat of British democracy designed by Charles Barry and  Augustus Pugin - the latter soon afterwards to be housed in Bedlam where he was to die - there winds a ragged line  of persons intent on making for a chamber that is unknown to most of the inhabitants and workers within the walls  of this vast Castle Gormenghast. Only the leader, Kenneth Clarke, knows the true nature of the task ahead and he  has gathered around him five others who share his apocalyptic vision of Britain’s future which must be made to  come to pass. As they move along corridors and wind down forgotten and dark staircases, Clarke has some growing  unease about his fellow participants.
    “I could do with a gin and tonic”. A voice from the rear of the file echoes down the line.
    “I don’t think it was a good idea bringing along Anna, you know”. Clarke had hesitated in his downward  step on the staircase that led ever deeper. He turned to Nicky Morgan who almost bumped into him. “Keep an eye on  the old soak. I don’t want this being ballsed up.”
    Morgan who was beginning to wish she hadn’t been persuaded to join the group offered a solution: “I could  take her back and we could try and find someone else?”   

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Grand Junction, Colorado (18th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Colorado Springs, Colorado (18th October, 2016)

Preaching With Kipper : Why I'm Right and You're WRONG!

Kipper, Going Postal
I was absolutely disgusted to log on the other day to see after I went to bed some of y'all were trying to argue that The Spy Who Loved Me wasn't the best bond film!!! What the actually fuckitly fuck fuck fuckeroo? Have y'all contracted fucking Downs Syndrome? And to make matters WORSE! Some of y'all were attempting to argue that THE WORST Bond film, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, was better than The Spy Who Loved Me. Fucking hell mate. I mean for fuck sake On Her Majesty's Secret Service is a fucking ball ache to say.

Firstly on why OHMSS is the worst. George Lazenby was a horrific casting for bond. The feeble attempt to break the fourth wall at the begging of the film was horrific.

Gayest shit ever.

Monday, 17 October 2016

Foreign Affairs Select Committee

Vir Cantium, Going Postal



Members of the Foreign Affairs Select Committee are just sitting down. One member, DIANNE ABBOTT MP FFRC places a red and white bucket full of unidentifiable foodstuffs on the empty chair next to her.

The FOREIGN SECRETARY RT. HON. VIR CANTII MP enters with his PERMANENT SECRETARY and they take their seats in front of the committee.

Good morning everyone. Can we approve the minutes of the last meeting?

Murmurs of agreement are heard from around the table.

Thank you. Just one matter arising from last time: the Clerk has brought up Ms. Soubry's complaint with the House authorities. Facilities Management have assured us that there is no evidence of the building moving of its own accord or any devices covertly installed to render a holographic double of any member sitting next to them.

Crime and Punishment Part 2 of 2, Punishment

Combat Dave, Going Postal
October 2026. 17.10.  “PLEASE, MIKE” Mike reappeared and poured another Doom for Combat Dave, 70. “Nearly finished out the back, Dave, another 10 minutes and I’ll come and have a chat. Put it on your tab? “Uh, yes, but can I pay my tab off now, please.” Didn’t want to leave his tab for Mike to pick up. He paid up in cash. “Can I borrow your mobile, please, Mike. Batteries are flat and I need to check some E-mails.” “Yeah, no worries, mate.” Mike handed Dave his mobile and popped back out to the kitchen. Dave waited a minute and slipped round behind the bar. And unplugged the pub’s phone. He sat back down and rolled another ciggie. And reflected.  Deep Purple were playing on the sound system. “….she‘s a highway, she‘s a highway starrrrr…..” Bloody hell, Mike, you pick your timing.

Over the last couple of months he’d been having tests for a backache and stomach problems. The results had arrived last week. He had cancer. Not just lungs, say, or liver. Oh no. Everywhere. Aggressive. He had been given about 3 months, maybe 6. The results had arrived on his birthday.
Happy birthday,  Dave.
He wasn’t afraid. He’d told his partner, Susie, not to worry. There was no way he would be a burden on her. He wasn’t intending to go for the long game. It would just happen unannounced to her, and he wouldn’t tell her when. Didn’t want to get her into trouble with “the authorities”.Assisted suicide and all that.

Sunday, 16 October 2016

Winterplay - I've Been A Bad Girl


Why it isn't a 50 50 chance

Phil the Test Manager brought up an interesting point on probability the other day.  When playing in a bridge contract where you and partner have eleven of the trump cards between you, what are the probabilities of placing the other two trump cards?

With guidance from

OldTrout, Going Postal

and some other bits from me.

Saturday, 15 October 2016

Freak Power - No Way


Deep space voyage of self-discovery

Eraser of Love, Going Postal

Politically , Its been depressing the last week or so ..Ive been wanking for the last 4 days piecemeal , a deep space voyage of self discovery teetering on the edge and facing the torment of the abyss until i finally exploded like dry ice ,baby bio and 9 inch nails this morning, resulting in a 6 foot long arc of frustration.

Its Been messy Work.. never has such a midden been seen under gods creation since Nancy Spungen injected her femoral artery with a Dirty Brown Hot Fix and bled out on a bean bag , listening to the New York Dolls cover of Sister Morphine in a Bronx Shooting gallery with Sid Vicious lying in his own Black vomit.

Encoding, Storage and Retrieval

Gmbd, Going Postal
OK let me explain some stuff you might have missed.
first of all I should say that my first memory is from 18 month or something and I wanted to see from what height I could jump.
1st step OK, 2nd step OK 3rd step snap (green-stick fracture ) goes the leg.
Now this is interesting. My dear mother had to wheel me about in a pram because of the plaster on my leg and I am thinking " this is great, I am getting wheeled about again"
so you see my earliest memory is containing a memory from an even earlier time.

Friday, 14 October 2016

PBH & Jack Shizzle - Feel The Music ft Emilie Adams


Jimmy Ward VC

Hengist, Going Postal
NZ401793 Sergeant Pilot James Allen Ward
Like many I have been interested by the recent posts on artillery and ships armament. For some time I have become increasingly critical of the awards given to political figures and senior civil servants for apparently just doing the job they are paid to do.

At the same time we have seen awards given to people because they can apparently run slightly faster than the next person.
So in this attempt to recalibrate the current view on what merits an award I can do no better than give you the announcement and citation for Jimmy Ward VC

“The KING has been graciously pleased to confer the VICTORIA CROSS on the under mentioned non-commissioned officer in recognition of most conspicuous bravery:

Thursday, 13 October 2016

Question Time with Going Postal, 13th Oct 2016

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby presents topical debate from the RAF Museum in London. On the panel are Conservative work and pensions secretary Damian "You're nicked" Green MP, Labour's shadow foreign secretary Emily "fivebellies" Thornberry MP, former SNP leader Alex "Wee Eck" Salmond MP, editor-at-large of the Independent Amol Rajan and the Daily Mail's political-editor-at-large The "fragrant" Isabel Oakeshott.

BBC Bias Much?

ZipInKent, Going Postal
Over the weekend of 8/9 October 2016, the mainstream news was dominated by the 'Donald Trump Tape.' Such was the furore generated in the media worldwide that I'll assume the reader is familiar with the backstory, and cut to the chase.

It has long been evident that, for reasons we can all deduce, a majority of the mainstream media holds an anti-right wing brief in general and, currently, an anti-Trump brief in particular. Over that weekend, this bias was endlessly demonstrated in all its obnoxious glory, not least by Sky News and the so-called BBC.

Hondas and Halal

Owen "Barry Sheen" Jones
"You're nicked sunshine"
Fred Hill had been a  keen  motorcyclist ever since his youth. During the Second World War he was a motorcycle dispatch rider. He left the Army and became a popular maths teacher.

In 1973 , when Fred was 64 the new road traffic act made it compulsory for motorcyclists to wear crash helmets. Fred, who never wore one, was annoyed by this but kept his concerns to his close circle of friends and family. He was a libertarian and believed what you did  on matters that only affect you personally are no business of the state. Then in 1976, after lobbying by Sikhs, they were exempted from wearing crash helmets. This was the defining moment for Fred. He thought is was wrong that one community should be excepted from the law because of what they chose to believe, but libertarians such as himself shouldn't because of what they chose to believe.
Fred decided to ignore the helmet law and ride his motorcycle regardless. He spoke at many demonstrations, which he always rode to helmetless. Consequently he was pulled over on numerous occasions and quite literally had a suitcase full of summonses. He never ever paid a fine or chose to answer them.

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Lakeland, Florida (12th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Ocala, Florida (12th October, 2016)

Chicken Shami Kebab

Coloniescross, Going Postal
I was minded by Stay Puft’s post regarding the blatant hypocrisy of Sham. E. Chakrabati to give some thought to how the other half actually lives. I currently have little or no experience of this, I know few rich people now and the ones I have known have tended to make sure that when they spend time with us “plebeians” they dumb themselves down to our level, rather than trying to take us to theirs. At least that was something like the case 20 years or so ago.

I think things might be slightly different now, our wonderful new order, many of whom make their money directly or indirectly from the public purse seem to have migrated into a world that is defined not by breeding and class (in the real sense of the word) but by the selective geography that money can bring. They have created a world for themselves that we can occasionally glimpse but can never be truly part of, unless we join their insular, metropolitan elite gang.

I am not saying that I know this for a fact, it is more of a hunch that once the heights of the new posh are attained the people that have paid for it can be pitied, talked about, ridiculed and indulged. What they can never be is mixed with, apart from at very well organised and policed occasions where the possibility of reality rubbing off is almost completely removed from the equation.

Monday, 10 October 2016

Donald Trump Rally in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania (10th October, 2016)

Donald Trump Rally in Ambridge, Pennsylvania (10th October, 2016)

Calvin Harris - This Is What You Came For (Official Video) ft. Rihanna


Crime and Punishment Part 1 of 2, Crime

Combat Dave, Going Postal

Friday 22nd June 2007. 18.30. Combat Dave, 50, and his friend Annie were sat at the bar  in the Three Tuns, drinking and smoking profusely. They were having a laugh with the bar staff and generally getting merry. A young man in his 30s emerged from the toilet and walked past the two at the bar. “Oh” *cough cough* he went, wayyy too soon for it to be true. He did that wavy hand thing, under his nose. “You won’t be able to do that in here next week“, he said. Dave and Annie knew that, actually, and were a bit cross about it. “Oh DO fuck off, LUV!”, replied Annie. She didn’t normally swear at strangers, but, you know, smokers were getting a little bit tense. Realisation was setting in. Life would never be the same again. In a pub sort of way. The man scuttled off. WHY? Why did he need to say that? What was he hoping to achieve? A good kicking in a pub? An admission that we had got it wrong all this time and we promise to be really, really healthy from now on and do whatever we were told. Without question. If the word ‘wankpuffin’ had been around in 2007, he would have been one of the earliest ones. However, ‘cunt’ will have to suffice for now.

Sunday, 9 October 2016

Trump v Clinton Presidential Debate, 9th October 2016

Funky Disco House Mix 2016 - Hed Kandi Style


Tax is for the little people

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs, Going Postal

As you probably all know by now, I can’t stand the BBC.  I can’t stand its moral duplicity, its hypocrisy, its cultural Marxist innate bias, its control of the narrative, its unending support of the debased Global Warming religion, its unique way that people are forced to pay for it and the way it continues to recruit those of a similar mindset who are willing to spread their repulsive message of Marxist faith.

Which is why I haven’t funded them for over 7 years and have spent the £1,000+ saved on myself and my family.  Legally.  Easily.  I strongly encourage you all to do the same to rid us of this treacherous beast.

However, it’s the hypocrisy of the BBC that I really despise.

So it’s a wonderful opportunity, when the so-called BBC have been caught with their liar-liar, Marxist pants on fire, that I can dwell in the wallowing comfort and glow of schadenfreude.

Going Postal Statistics October 2016

August compared to July

Saturday, 8 October 2016


I just Clocked a sparsely bearded Expat Living in the South of France On BBC News 24 telling the BBC HMV Dog curled at his feet , that 'UKIP's Voter base is racist and Xenophobic' . Of course This Arrogant and Grotesque Sweeping stereotype was met with lascivious approval , a look straight off the cover of the Joy of sex manual of the 70's .

Its the same Ignorant petri dish formulae as myself assuming all Labour Voters Reside in re education camps in Islington High Dojo's dining on tormented water melon on a bed of awakened Seaweed at White middle class dinner parties. Eulogising the wonderfully vibrant and urban local comprehensive schools which of course they Will never send their children to, as both little Thom and Anushka are sensitive but talented flowering buds that can only be nurtured by £18,000 Yearly school fees and being hermetically sealed away in perpetuity from the Playful Artful dodger Somalian , Bulgarian and Romanian Children that go to the local Comp expressing their cultural needs by pimping out the strawberry blond english girl pupils , once they have finished fucking them in an organic newtons cradle of sexual hymen rupturing. The Common purpose teachers screaming their joy looking on.

Biscuit Dunking with Phil the Test Manager

Going Postal
Select your plunge-pot carefully

The prologue:

"Dunking" is a time honoured tradition amongst the working and lower class, although mistakenly frowned upon by some.  To those who frown, I say to you Sir or madam, get a life!

To achieve the best experience possible, here are a few pointers:

The size of the pot (commonly known as "mug") is very important. There is nothing worse, (or embarrassing, than having an overly large biscuit and an overly small pot entrance. If you are unsure of the size of your biscuit and your pot entrance, always try a "dry-run" firstly. This simply involves inserting, length ways (vertically), the biscuit into the entrance of the pot. If the biscuit fits, then the pot is going to be a good plunge pot. Please note the pot does not need to be able to embrace the complete biscuit at once, because you do need somewhere to grasp the biscuit with.

Friday, 7 October 2016

Devil Doll - Bourbon in Your Eyes


Ed Hic!

Let’s Go Round Again

Coloniescross, Going Postal
The facts surrounding the referendum are quite immutable, a significant majority voted to Leave the EU, the choice put before the people was simple and the result, whatever the outcome, was to be honoured by the government of the day. To be honoured without recourse to the HoC or the HoL, honoured without any further voting and certainly honoured without having anything whatsoever to do with a “hard” or “soft” Brexit.

How many times have we now heard “The government needs to tell us if we are going to have a hard or soft Brexit and we need to be able to vote on whatever deal is done before we ratify the result (of the referendum)”.

This begs the question, what is a “soft” Brexit and how could such a thing be defined; it also begs a further question, why would anyone, when given the choice of a “hard” but quick and relatively painless solution instead prefer to be involved in a drawn out, costly and ongoing involvement with anything as bad as the failing EU?

Thursday, 6 October 2016

Back To The Future - Part 2 of 2

Combat Dave, Going Postal

October 2016.

It’s Tuesday night in the Three Tuns (Community pub) in a small West Country town in Wiltshire. The time is 5.15 pm. Combat Dave, 60, is stood at the bar, by the open hatch with a half empty pint of Doom Bar
ale. The hatch is a good place to stand, as it’s away from the “Family Room“ where all the tables are laid out for the diners. He’s waiting for  the “5 O‘Clock Club”. 5 O‘Clock Club is where the locals meet up after their various day‘s activities.  

The regulars come in, some with their wives/partners and the conversation consists of banter and utter bollocks for two hours. Only regulars understand the “code” and the in-jokes. It only takes one word sometimes or even just the last sentence of a joke.

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Gregory Porter - Liquid Spirit (Claptone Remix)


Something rotten in the land of the Prince Bishops?

Going Postal

William Davenport was jailed for six years last Wednesday after fraudulently securing  hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of finance to buy the former home of Sir Anthony Eden, Windlestone Hall in Co Durham. He admitted a series of mortgage frauds against Barclays Bank. A serial liar and bankrupt he had numerous false identities. A scam artist, he and his American wife posed as a wealthy couple so they could buy other stately homes in the UK.

In 2011, Davenport approached the owners of Windlestone Hall, saying he was interested in purchasing the property, but all his wealth was outside the country and he didn’t want to be liable for taxes. A classic Nigerian scam. He offered to buy the property for £241,000, however this money actually came from a fraudulent mortgage application from Barclays bank. This was obtained under a false name, reference and accounts

Monday, 3 October 2016

M People - Moving On Up [Roger S. Moving Mix]


A Dream for Modern Times

Coloniescross, Going Postal
In my dream I am sat on the branch of a tree, my arms are incredibly long and can reach to the woodland floor.

On the floor of the wood are countless small but fully formed “creatures”, I can’t tell if they are insects, animals or humans in some other form, their heads are human though. An incessant chattering rises toward me and I can make out the occasional word. The faces look up at me but seem to either not see me or if they do then they completely ignore me. It is as if, even though I am much bigger than them, and my hands hover just over their heads they do not feel threatened by my presence.

Tony and Cherie Blair are there, she in full legal regalia, Jude Law is there, dressed as in the film Cold Mountain but without the beard. The woman who presents the Newswatch programme on the ABBC sits on a large red armchair clothed in the wig and costume that Naga Munchetty had worn on Strictly Come Dancing. This woman is reading from a script that is being handed to her, page by page, by a brown bald headed Hillary Clinton. Ranged behind the armchair, in a Sgt. Pepper type line up are the worlds great and good, I can see Francoise Holland and Christine Lagarde, Bashar Al Assad, Charlotte Church, Bob Geldof, Vladimir Putin, Nelson Mandela, Nigel Farage, The Pope and many others. Behind them, hovering in and out of view I can see Gaddaffi, Anwar Sadat, Sadam Hussain, Shimon Peres and a host of zombie like people, floating just above the ground, some with missing limbs, their clothes hanging bloodied from their bodies.

As I look more closely, focussing in on the red armchair I can see a group leaning into the chair, whispering to the young woman sat in it, she looks terrified but resigned. Among this group are the Camerons, Diane Abbott, Sadiq Khan, Michelle Obama, Viktor Orban, Benedict Cumberbatch, King Salman and George Soros.