Friday, 30 September 2016

AlunaGeorge, Leikeli47, Dreezy - Mean What I Mean



DJ MJ

Harry's Worth - Len Deighton's 60s Novels

Joe Williamks, Going Postal
‘The grey stones of the Cenotaph shone in the hard wintry sunlight as I surrendered my Home Office pass and stepped into Whitehall…The red-cloaked Horse Guards sat motionless clutching their sabres and thinking of metal polish and sex.’ Funeral in Berlin

One distant summer afternoon, I wandered into a library & noticed a hardback with a striking monochrome cover. A smeared War Office canteen cup & saucer, a Gauloise stub, paper clips, bullets, & a snub-nosed Smith & Wesson. Bureaucracy laced with violence & intrigue. The Ipcress File/A novel by Len Deighton. Secret File No. 1. I was hooked. Le Carré, the Hampstead spysmith, has always been the beeboids’ darling, but a BBC production of Deighton’s SS-GB is on the way, so a glance at his earlier novels may be of interest.

Deighton burst onto the literary scene in 1962, with The Ipcress File. The 60s were gearing up at a time when nuclear devastation seemed a possibility; it was the year of the Cuban Missile Crisis, & a monstrous wall was a recent addition to Berlin’s architecture. This is the world that Deighton’s sardonic, chippy, anti-hero inhabits, groping his way through the double-crossing, surreal labyrinth of the Cold War & high-level criminal scams. Little wonder he is paranoid & keeps his ‘escape package’ close. His life is, by necessity, lonely; much time spent waiting for contacts in seedy hotel rooms. Friends are few. People that know what he does avoid him; others think he’s a dull cog in the Civil Service.


Wednesday, 28 September 2016

Playing Duplicate Bridge –with Phil the Test Manager

Following on from learning about 5’ and 3’s from the estimable Coloniescross ( http://www.going-postal.net/2016/09/one-for-chips.html ). I thought I would share my passion, which is Bridge.

Many will think this is a posh, stuck-up game played by lols (little old ladies) and retired generals.   Nothing could be further from the truth, apart from actually having some lols and retired generals!

Bridge is a game of cards where you play with a partner, against another pair, who are partners.  A good partner is one who is at the same standard, or slightly better than you.  When you find this person, they become just as valuable as a loving wife/husband.  Tip: you can learn to play with your husband/wife/girlfriend/mistress etc., but don’t, unless you want to tempt divorce.

After the usual pleasantries, hello, good evening, welcome, it then descends into WW3, though always being polite.  You do need to have that “killer instinct”, we all play for fun and enjoyment, but we want to win, but only in a fair and pleasant way.

With a teacher, you can probably learn the basics over a weekend.  Then, like games such as Chess, it takes a while to get better.

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Escape 2016 Music Video Mix #4



DJ MJ

A strange thing happened to me in the night

JWP, Going Postal

A strange thing happened to me in the night. As I slumbered within my house of strong walls I metamorphosed into somebody else. When I awoke I was no longer me; I was Theresa May. Showering and shaving were interesting and Mrs JWP was most amused to see me descend the stairs wrapped in a leopard skin and tangerine two-piece with matching pill box hat. However, with all the fluidity of Duckhams 20w50 I soon settled into my new identity and after a hearty breakfast of tea and cigarettes I took my place behind my desk to take in hand the meaty matters of the day.

As I glanced out of the lead lights at the garden lawn, bedecked with morning dew and only the occasional trace of dog a thought entered my mind. We are, we truly are in a moment of golden opportunity.

There has been much talk of a snap General Election. Should I call one? Would it be seen as naked opportunism? What about the fixed term Parliament thingy? Well, I mused to myself that there are times in life when it seems a higher power is working with you and for you and it is somewhat perverse to go against the flow. This, I thought is one such moment.


Monday, 26 September 2016

Trump v Clinton Presidential Debate, 26th September 2016


Live feed now.

A Cult of Thugs

Rorschach, Going Postal

David had just returned from work when the men from Momentum came for him. Emerging menacingly from the shadows, the two skinheads approached him wearing red T-shirts with Momentum in white writing David as a Jewish man had come to know and fear. A chill instantly went through him. He knew escaping into his home was impossible - the thugs would stop him before he took a single step.

David eventually found the words to ask the two scary looking men what they wanted, his voice faltering. "We've got a message from Jeremy", one of them snarled as a response in a tone that was full of disgust. He took in a deep snort and gobbed on David's face.

Raising a shaking arm to wipe away the spit, the man growled at him to leave it. David's eyes then fixed on the terrifying sight that was the thick black Swastika tattoo that was prominent on the man's neck. It was the last thing he remembered seeing before the vicious, unprovoked attack on him began.


Sunday, 25 September 2016

Weaponising Campanology

PastMySellByDate, Going Postal
Bells have been rung since time immemorial, but full circle bell ringing only began a few hundred years ago in this country. Bells on the continent are rung in various ways either mechanical or manual. Without full circle ringing, i.e. where the bell turns through 360°, the timing of the strike cannot be changed much as it is dictated by the physics of the bell and given that they weigh anything up to 80 cwt or 4 tons (Liverpool Cathedral Tenor Bell), that is a lot of physics.

Control is only achievable when the bell is at or near equilibrium: in other words, it is upside-down and just short of going all the way over (bad and potentially expensive and limb-threatening, see below). In this state, the bell can be accelerated by pulling earlier on the Sally or the tail, or slowed down by holding the bell at the balance for a little longer. Given the weight and momentum of even the lightest bells, unless they are at or near the balance point, there is no hope whatsoever of controlling them.

There is only one other place in the world where full circle bell ringing developed and that is in the Veneto region of Italy. Although there are differences in the design and way the bells are rung, English ringers can ring Venetian bells with a little training and vice-versa. Everywhere else (apart from the former colonies which use the English system), the bells are chimed manually or mechanically/electrically. The latter systems are known as Carillons or large cuckoo clocks.


Saturday, 24 September 2016

Negotiation

Northern man, Going Postal
How does negotiation work?

So, we are about to enter probably the most important negotiation that will happen for many lifetimes the exiting of the UK from the EU and the detaching of that institute's tentacles from all aspects of our lives.

But what is negotiation?  How does it work?  I am not a full-time negotiator, but I do negotiate contracts as part of my job (biggest one was just over #1bn for a ten-year deal) and thought I would share my thoughts on this with you all.

One dictionary definition of negotiation is discussion aimed at reaching an agreement .  By that definition you could argue that negotiation is part of human nature.  Anyone with children knows that they start negotiating from the age of four or five ( Do I have to go to bed now?  Can I just watch one more episode? ).  In many cultures people negotiate every time they buy something (we look down our noses at this and call it haggling ).


Friday, 23 September 2016

Burning Man 2016



DJ MJ

One for Chips


Sport
  1. An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.

Game

  1. A form of competitive activity or sport played according to rules.
  2. An activity that one engages in for amusement.

In parts of the far North West of England there is a long standing competitive tradition that is slowly disappearing as people pass away or retire from the fray. The history of dominoes can be traced back to 12th Century China and maybe even before, but the game as played in the UK was probably introduced in the early 18th century by the French and from the basic “chip out” game several variations soon developed.

As recently as 1976 there were, in one small area of Cumbria alone, as many as 72 teams of six players (around 700 people with reserves), split into 6 divisions, playing the variation called 5’s & 3’s competitively every Tuesday throughout the winter. It was not uncommon for country pubs, especially those in farming communities, to have four tables going on Sunday afternoons, with players staking small amounts of cash on their ability to beat others. These were the “lock in” days. Farmers would traditionally get their jobs done on a Sunday morning, eat an early roast dinner and then repair to the local hostelry to start drinking and playing just before “closing” time. A game could always be had on Friday nights, with Saturdays (reserved for wives and girlfriends) probably the only night when a determined person couldn’t drum up a four.


Wednesday, 21 September 2016

‘We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother’

Jamies Magic Torch, Going Postal
Bob 1942

Bob was born in 1913 into a working class family in Dundee.  After leaving school at 13 he completed a five year apprenticeship to become a stone mason.  As World War II escalated Bob joined the 7th Battalion of the Black Watch and in February 1942 started training as a Bren Gunner.  An inspection by King George VI and Queen Elizabeth on 1st June 1942 preceded embarkation from Glasgow on June 18th.  As part of the 51st Highland Division, the 7th Black Watch were aboard the Stratheden which was a P&O owned cruise ship designed to carry 1,500 passengers and crew but as a troop ship carried 5,000 soldiers.  The officers were housed on the upper decks, but the bulk of soldiers were crammed onto stuffy lower decks.  The Stratheden was part of a convoy of 16 troop ships and 4 cargo ships which was escorted by 8 destroyers for the 10,000 mile, 8 week journey.

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Momentum's Class Struggle

DH, Going Postal
"The union forever defending our rights
Down with the blackleg, all workers unite
With our brothers and our sisters from many far off lands
There is power in a union."


The final notes of the daily Billy Bragg hymn echoed for a few moments around the assembly hall. The children, clad in their identical grey tracksuits, fell silent for a few moments as their Comrade Teacher slowly gathered up his sheet music from the piano.

He stood and surveyed the eager young faces staring up at him. Satisfied that he commanded their full attention, he strode over to the overhead projector, his pink frock and dreadlocks wafting behind him. He paused to replace the lyric sheet with a photograph of the benign eternal leader, Jeremy Corbyn.

"We want justice, you say how?," he yelled, raising his right fist.

"End the siege on Gaza now!", came the enthusiastic response from the assembled children.

"Vamos Corbyn!", screamed the teacher.


Sunday, 18 September 2016

Shami the Money!

Stay Puft, Going Postal

Shami Chakrabarti is a person of the highest integrity. Let there be no doubt on that. Shami has spent her entire career doing the right thing.

It would be outrageous to suggest that there was any sort of sordid deal between her and Jeremy Corbyn over her inquiry into anti-Semitism within the Labour Party. Right from the outset, Shami showed she was handling the inquiry with total transparency and objectivity.


Saturday, 17 September 2016

Kungs vs Cookin’ on 3 Burners - This Girl



DJ MJ

‘Meregate’?

Jethro, Going Postal
Driving back, for the umpteenth time, along the A30, and then the A39 – I’ve been doing this with monotonous frequency if not regularity in the quest for i. a house and then ii. work done on it – I passed, yet again, something that never fails to lift my spirits. Just a mile or so from Winnard’s Perch (although the sign has dropped its final ‘h’ becoming ‘Winnards Perc ’) - which, as I’m sure all you students of language and dialect know, derives its name from the Redwing, a bird only seen so far South-west in exceptionally harsh winters, when it seems barely able to survive, hence the Cornish simile for anyone poorly, sick, or failing ‘wisht as a winnard’ - just a mile or so, as I say, I saw once more this phenomenon that never fails to lift my spirits, sometimes even bringing an involuntary smile to my cynical and time-worn countenance (not quite yet ‘wisht as a winnard’). The road dips and winds quite sharply, and if you’ve got to ‘Halfway House’, pondering yet again, ‘...but between where and where?’, you’ll have missed this jeu d’esprit.

Jethro, Going Postal
But what is this ‘something’, you ask, that continues to bring me such joy? Is it a Dolmen, a Cromlech, or a Fougou, a stone-circle? Something, perhaps as talismanic as ‘the great vision of the guarded Mount,  which pace Milton, ‘looks towards Namancos and Bayona’s hold’? No, no, others of you impatiently cry, it is – it must be! -a Logan Rock, but one that actually still rocks, no impious Naval hand having dared dislodge it!

Thursday, 15 September 2016

Question Time with Going Postal, 15th Sept 2016

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby (Marxist) presents topical debate from Salisbury. The panellists are Conservative former minister Anna Soubry (dipso), Labour's shadow chancellor John Mao McDonnell, the SNP's justice spokesperson in the Commons Joanna Cherry (who dat?), the Daily Mail's Quentin Letts and Tony Blair's former director of communications Alastair Campbell (serious dipso and daffodil).


Hole - Malibu



DJ MJ

Donald Trump & Mike Pence at Economic Club of New York (15th September 2016)

Make ‘em laugh (Part the second)

Roger Ackroyd, Going Postal

Gentle reader; you may recall my first foray under this heading in which I promised a second rumination on the British cartoonists of the 20th century. I have been somewhat lax in following up this train of thought but an incidental posting by our very own and highly esteemed Judas Was Paid on this Tuesday last got the latent imagination fired up once more. JwP wrote: “Do not ask me to define British values as if there were never any such thing. Of course there are British values. For most people they are so deeply ingrained in the fabric of the nation that they would struggle to say precisely what they are. They are like the air we breath, invisible yet ever present, intangible yet essential to our health and well being. They have shaped our character as a community of people, given us fine and noble institutions, ensured peaceful co-existence, made possible the education of our young, the tending of our sick, the supporting of our elderly and so much more.” This snippet got me a-thinking and, at last I put pen to paper (figuratively speaking).

Pont, Fougasse, Langdon, Bateman, Low. Names that are in danger of passing over the edge of living memory and sliding down into the labyrinth of historical footnotes but which may be still be recognised by the older readers amongst us. They were cartoonists flourishing in the first half of the 20th century and whose work appeared in such magazines as Punch, Lilliput and The Strand – sadly, periodicals that are all now defunct. For this little essay I will leave David Low to one side as his work was more overtly political and I wanted to concentrate on the more “domestic work” of the others listed above which in varied styles and in differing ways subtly portrayed the British character to which JwP alluded.


Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Faul & Wad Ad vs. Pnau - Changes



DJ MJ

PMQs with Going Postal, 14th September 2016

Going Postal
Gif EJ

PMQs live stream here on Going Postal TV

Defining Language. A glossary of Leftism

Guardian Council, Going Postal
We on the progressive Left must not be fooled by the attempts of neoliberal Tory stooges (*spit) and the Murdoch controlled media (*spit spit) to confuse Our Language. We henceforth declare the meaning of Our Words as such:

BBC: the people’s own state-broadcaster that still gives far too much weight to the opinions of neoliberal economists, climate change deniers, euro-sceptics and generally to anybody who doesn’t agree with us.

Black Lives Matter: a pressure group run mainly by white people for the benefit of black people. Not patronising at all. Fond of blocking airports because obviously black people stop mattering once they make over 30 grand per year.

C4: a powerful brain bleach. Good for fighting the Righties. Stimulates hysterical laughter and profound disbelief in them. Small quantities are toxic but larger doses may be lethal (LD 50 = 30 minutes).


Tuesday, 13 September 2016

GP News: Cast Iron Production is Down by Sixty-Six Percent


Due to the disastrous Brexit Crisis (where both the FTSE 100 and 250 crashed upwards) and that David Cameron is resigning from his position as MP, it has been found out that Cast Iron production is DOWN by 66%!

It is worrying news for any metal traders interested in trading cast iron, plus it is depressing news for anyone who has invested in cast iron.

To get an idea how this situation is affecting producers of cast iron, we interviewed a CEO of a company called ‘CI Plus Industries’, that mainly produces cast iron pledges, he said:


Sunday, 11 September 2016

Cooking with Phil the test manager : Chilli Cin Carnie

Going Postal

The prologue:

Many will have had chilli con carnie before, it is usually made with chilli powder and quite often rather bland.  Some have carrots, celery or sweetcorn in them.  This does not, so is safe to eat. You may not like the ones you get at Disney World or out of a tin, but if you make it like what I do, you will most likely change your mind.

Over the years I have developed the perfect recipe, which needs real chillies.  I am always asked to make this at parties with the family, it really goes down well.  So I thought I would share.


Saturday, 10 September 2016

Sid Vicious - My Way (Original and Complete Version)



DJ MJ

Gotham must be destroyed OBE

Going Postal

Let me tell you a story.

In my work that I made for myself I was always closely monitoring my brain, brain memory and my reactions to things, so when I was really on my best game you would not know how I was feeling there was so much control there, not control like a military officer, but genuine relaxed control.

Anyway one day I went to see my parents ( my grandmother who lived with us had passed away) I was then completely sober and drug free for some several weeks and I have a classic experience that I have since heard other people describe.

I lay on my bed feeling relaxed and cheerful and then there was a transition where I am lying there and conscious and then I am lying there and conscious but it is different because there are tree branches growing from the ceiling, twisting branches grow towards me and I feel a physical sensation of excited happiness the closer the branches the stronger the happy feeling.


Friday, 9 September 2016

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Coloniescross, Going Postal

On Wednesday of this week Colin Cross, Mrs Cross and their younger daughter decided to take advantage of the nice weather and a rare day of leisure to complete the 8 mile walk on the coastal path from Whitehaven to St Bees. The route follows the cliff path above some of the most inaccessible coast line of England, consequently the high sandstone cliffs are a haven for sea birds of all types, most especially Cormorants and Guillemots, along with Fulmars, Razorbills and assorted Gulls. It had been the intention of Colin and Laura to try to get some photographs of said birds, but owing either to the lovely weather, the calmness of the sea or the lateness of the season there were very few birds in evidence.

The logistics of this walk are ideal, if you are lucky enough to find a parking space at Whitehaven railway station you can walk along the marina front, past the Beacon museum and the candlestick mine ventilation shaft and onto the cliff proper, once past Haig Pit mining museum you leave “civilisation” behind and start the first of the challenging but not severe climbs. At the end of the walk there is somewhere to get a drink or an ice cream and then a half mile to St Bees station and back to the car in 9 minutes.

But this piece isn’t about the joys of walking with one’s family, away from the bustle of everyday life, it’s about the jobs you can’t get the natives to do, the jobs that English people think are beneath them and about how this argument, as delivered on an almost daily basis by the ABBC and our political and artistic elite just doesn’t hold water, at least not in those places yet to feel the full benefit of “enrichment”.


Thursday, 8 September 2016

Question Time with Going Postal, 8th Sept 2016

Question Time with Going-Postal.Net

David Dimbleby presents a special edition of Question Time from Oldham featuring the two candidates for leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn MP and Owen Smith MP.

Advice for dealing with ISIS Jihadists

Glenn, North Chingford
To : Owen.Smith.MP@parliament.uk
Date 28/08/16

Re :Advice for dealing with ISIS Jihadists around the Conference Table.

Dear Mr Smith,

In the unlikely event of your attempt for peaceful Negotiation breaking down over the Arranged Basket of Summer fruits, One should never be without his cat skin dueling gloves dipped in shattered resin and his trusty grandfather Pendulum Clock weight, dropped down the leg of ones 72 button fly buck skin pantaloons .

Steel fish hooks sewn into your smoking Jacket by your Jermyn Street tailor , are worth their weight in gold when in peaceful constructive talks with Bestial Religious Maniacs.


The Day After Tomorrow, We'll Still Be Here


We are told that it is necessary for all of the countries of the world to come together and tackle climate change.

The reason for this is that scientific research has established that the level of carbon in the atmosphere has doubled over the past 100 years. This research involves examining ice core samples in the Antarctic.

The greenhouse effect regulates the planets temperature by reflecting the Suns radiation. Most of this is achieved by water vapour and clouds in the atmosphere. A study by NASA established that 75% of this 'effect' was down to the amount of water vapour in the atmosphere and cloud cover, which is in turn influenced by the amount of dust and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere which contributes towards most of the other 25%. It does appear that carbon levels is a control mechanism.


Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Love Rollercoaster (High Quality)



DJ MJ

Bank of England August 2016 Inflation Report (Treasury Committee)


Witnesses: Dr Mark Carney, Governor, Bank of England, Sir Jon Cunliffe, Deputy Governor, Financial Stability, Bank of England, Kristin Forbes, Member of the Monetary Policy Committee, Bank of England, and Dr Gertjan Vlieghe, Member of the Monetary Policy Committee, Bank of England

Committee members

Mr Steve Baker Conservative
Mark Garnier Conservative
Helen Goodman Labour
Stephen Hammond Conservative
George Kerevan Scottish National Party
John Mann Labour
Chris Philp Conservative
Mr Jacob Rees-Mogg Conservative
Rachel Reeves Labour
Wes Streeting Labour
Mr Andrew Tyrie (Chair) Conservative

Popinjays, Mountebanks & Poltroons, 7th September 2016

PMQs with Going Postal
Public view of the House of Commons


PMQs live stream here on Going Postal TV

Susanne Vega - Tom's Diner



DJ MJ


PMQs today

Tuesday, 6 September 2016

fr.david - words don't come easy ( Let's GoMusic Remix )



DJ MJ

Vazgate

Judas was paid, Going Postal
I have to admit to a rather childish habit. I say childish but perhaps I really mean ‘of childhood’ because it relates to a rule that I learned whilst still a boy. It concerns my two grandmothers both of whom were staunch Christians and consequently women of strong moral fibre and conservative opinion. The one was born in 1896 and the other in 1905. They were very influential in my formative years and as I grew in awareness and became challenged by the need to make decisions I would find myself going to one or other for advice. It was invariable wise advice, born of experience and therefore a sound base upon which to lean. To summarise; although approaching 60 I still find myself asking, “What would Nan think, or what would Nana do?”

I have asked myself that question in relation to the erstwhile Chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee and in case anybody has failed to notice a man (I use the term simply to indicate gender) whose activities have raised concern, to the point that his fitness for public office has been questioned. Of course, living in amoral times when it is said that if something is not illegal than it should not be seen as a disqualification, or that if nobody is hurt (although I imagine that anal sex is somewhat intrusive and potentially quite painful) then why should we be concerned? What would Nana think?

The past was a better place in many respects. There was a time I believe when, having morals of their own the public felt it important that those who held office should bear the extra responsibility of setting an example, of showing through their conduct and bearing that honesty, integrity and a capacity to choose the right course in any situation was something that can and should be attained. They were and are after all, more than employees; they hold within their power the destiny and wellbeing of a nation. This is no small matter.


A New Town’s Tale

Guardian Council, Going Postal

The house my dad almost bought was in something of a new town on the edge of a city, not too far from the Volkswagen and Continental plants. This was a time when plants still employed huge numbers of people and most of them were unionised. Not all of them believed in world revolution and the communist utopia of the proletarian masses, but everybody knew which side their bread was buttered on.

The house my dad almost bought was supposed to be built for the people who worked in these plants. There was no need to be unionised (and my dad certainly wasn’t) as long you didn’t mind buying off the union’s own housing corporation or renting from it. This was meant to be a “mixed” development, you see, with roughly 85% of it rented accommodation and the 15% privately owned properties nestled around a set of primary and secondary schools, a public indoor swimming pool and a few small shopping centres. Everybody was supposed to live quite close to one another, so that anybody could see how the other half lived.

My dad almost bought a four-bedroom atrium-bungalow with a very small lawn at the heart of it. This was quite the height of fashionable living in sixties’ Germany if you weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth. The idea was for my nana and auntie to move in with mum and dad. That wouldn’t have been a big change for me because I practically grew up my gran’s living room anyway. Being of somewhat modest financial means, auntie and gran would have made do with the kids’ bedrooms accessible via the living room, whereas my parents and I would have retired to the other side of the bungalow. That was the grand scheme of things.


Monday, 5 September 2016

Suzanne Vega - Caramel



DJ MJ

A true story

JWP. Going Postal

I would like, if I may, to introduce you to ‘Herbert’. Herbert was born in 1920 and grew up in the Lancashire countryside. He spoke often of collecting the milk from local farms and delivering it to local shops. He was 19 when war with Germany came in 1939 and being a patriot he enlisted to defend his country. Herbert served with the Grenadier Guards and saw action in North Africa and was part of the push that unseated the Germans from Italy. In January of 1944 the Grenadiers (6th Battalion) together with Coldstream and Scots Guards were part of the force that fought at Monte Cassino. Herbert’s memories of that assault were vivid and his experiences were to change his life forever.

I remember sitting with him in the lounge of his small flat as he tended his ailing wife. She suffered from dementia and he insisted that she would be nursed at home to the end of her life; a promise which he fulfilled in his own strength and by his own means. He recounted how he and a pal were taking shelter behind a stone wall. They could hear German voices and they knew that they had been spotted. Herbert turned to his right to scan the hillside. There was a loud crack and a sickening thud. Turning back he saw that his pal had had his head shot off. A German bullet had hit him square in the face.


Sunday, 4 September 2016

Life as a Labour MP

Eraser of Love, Going Postal

Poor Keith Vaz, It sickens me to the core of my very being to see our elected Proud custodians of democracy having to sing for their Fresh chicken brass supper in this manner.

Today , The Iron Duke of North Chingford, Me, will be calling for our Destitute MP'S to augment their megre incomes by implementing the old Beer bottle return collection deposIt system , so loved by the leg of mutton alpha male of the 1970's. However, in this case Using the empties of the amyl nitrate Bottles.


Credulity

The grand central avenue of Kensal Green Cemetery is a fascinating place, full of pompous mausoleums and monuments to minor royalty and celebrities of the mid-19th century. One of the most noticeable features at the expensive end of the avenue, near the chapel, is this slender rotunda sheltering the statue of a goddess, probably Hygieia, the personification of health.

Tachybaptus, Going Postal

But when you read the inscription on the base, you are taken aback.

It is the fate of most men
to have many enemies, and few friends.
This monumental pile
is not intended to mark the career,
but to shew
how much its inhabitant was respected
by those who knew his worth,
and the benefits
derived from his remedial discovery.
He is now at rest
and far beyond the praises, or censures
of this world.
Stranger as you respect this receptacle for the dead
(as one of the many who will rest here,)
read the name of
John Saint John Long
without comment.

Of course, when I saw this fiercely defensive epitaph I went home and looked him up, and this is what I found.

Saturday, 3 September 2016

Preaching with Kipper : Remain Tears, The Slightly Underwhelming Third Edition

Going Postal
I have friends who voted remain and I have friends who voted leave. It's been over two months since the referendum now. And, for the most part, people have moved on. But some cunts haven't and that's why I'm here with another oh so smug edition of remain tears.

As I say most of us have moved on. By that I mean some remaintards have got over it. We've accepted the result and are moving forward. I don't care about people who voted remain. Now this will probably be a really smugcunt thing to say, but that's who I am, so fuck it. I don't care about people who voted remain because most people who voted remain didn't have a fucking clue. Like my dip shit friends. The voted for the status quo because they "didn't really know". Or they voted remain for reasons that hat fuck all to do with the EU, "I didn't want the border agreement with France to go away".


The Anti British Broadcasting Collective (Part Two)

Coloniescross, Going Postal

People often ask me “What IS your problem with the BBC”?

The BBC is a long established and supposedly cherished national institution. It has a heraldic coat of arms with 2 eagles supporting a shield, helmet and globe, with the motto “Nation shall Speak unto Nation” in scroll across the bottom. Laudable indeed and no doubt well intentioned in the third decade of the 20th century, but I would imagine, though I cannot be certain, that this is viewed as somewhat passé by the great and good now in charge of the organisation.   More apposite are the organisations founding principles which are encapsulated in the phrase “To Inform, Educate and Entertain”.

So, we have an organisation, funded mainly by a legally enforceable tax that only exists to deliver the above. It is bound, by its own charter, to do so without bias or favour.


Thursday, 1 September 2016

I'm just a bird on the Internet : Wankpuffin




EJ ©


She was afraid to come out of the water

Flying Hippo, Going Postal
I think I have a bit of a libertarian streak running through me. I believe you should be allowed to do whatever you like as long as you do not adversely affect anybody else.

I am genuinely conflicted with this Burkini debate - because I believe you should be able to wear what you want and I find it worrying that the state wants to interfere in this. But the big question is why on earth would you want to wear it?

How can a religion that dictates what you must wear, eat and interferes with the schedule of your daily life be a good thing? And why on earth are we bending over backwards to accommodate it?

Was our culture so shit that it needs dodgy takeaways, taxi drivers, honour killings and FGM to improve it? No it didn’t. We have done organised religion in this country, we didn’t like it so we got rid of it, and we don’t need it again.

This Muslim conundrum seems to be hanging over us and no one wants to tackle it. Again, that being said and this may be a little controversial to some of the Going Postal faithful, I’m not too bothered about Islam. If the political will was there we could quite easily control it in the UK.