Sunday, 28 February 2016

Sunset over Bellegarde-sur-Valserine


If you suffer from slow broadband, do not want to see Tweets, YouTube videos, pictures, see this comment.                               

Sunday Sermon 28th February


Praise the Lord, for we have a new home, Going-Postal.NetHallelujah brothers and sisters.

After a somewhat trying time talking to the local builders they have finally come up trumps. All praise the great erection.




Let us pray

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
etc
etc

On the seventh day Swiss Bob had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all .... work on that day.

Intermission



Migration complete. You are now on Going-Postal.net. Welcome.

Comments were lost from the pub and the Saturday night thread in the migration. All others seem to be back now. 

Saturday, 27 February 2016

Saturday Night, Superstylin'



H/t Med Jumper

Those of you who would like a nice quiet evening, try the Going Postal pub The Hippopotamus and Politician.

Kleptocuntocracy

He who slavers hysterically behind the abstract known as Schrödinger's cat wishes to lay claim to a new coinage in the English language. Google it and you will find no examples - until this moment. I am sure that the learned Tachybaptus will confirm that it observes the required norms for inclusion in some future edition of the OED.

It describes the cabal of greedy, thieving cunts who egoistically grasp the levers of state under the pretence of democracy. Democracy? Ha ha, fucking Ha! They would not know democracy if it blasted through their bedroom walls and bit their fucking bollocks off.

The females of this mendacious species are invariably ugly or fat, often both. They have a fondness for pudding bowl hairstyles which emphasise their mostly loathsome physiognomies. So fucking similar that they appear cloned. They want to exact revenge upon the world for their ghastly misfortune of birth compounded by dreadful diets. So what do these absolute fucking, two-faced munters do? Why, they go into politics...

Jeremy Corbyn resplendent


I have frequently complained that JC always wears the same jacket, shirt and tie. I owe the old paraffin an apology, from the evidence above he has at least two shirts and two ties.


Friday, 26 February 2016

Kick-Arse vs Kick-Ass

Lexie Hill (QT Girl)

Chloe Moretz

The BDS Movement is B.S.

Once upon a time, Brian Eno was best known for being a terrifically talented musician, composer and producer. Sadly, nowadays he's better known for being a high profile member of Stop the War, that group of charmers led by John Rees and Lyndsey German who claimed the ethnic cleansing of Yazidis is a myth, praised the "spirit of internationalism and solidarity" in ISIS, and whose first reaction to the mass murder of 130 people in Paris was to post a Tweet so obscene that they quickly deleted it, probably upon the advice of their lawyers that it was bordering on encouraging and supporting terrorism.

Eno is also a figurehead of the BDS Movement, which campaigns for "boycotts, divestment and sanctions" against Israel. Now, no country is above criticism, including Israel. We all have the right to criticise and condemn any government and if this movement was solely about campaigning against the Israeli government, there wouldn't be an issue. But the BDS Movement isn't just about criticising the policies of the Israeli government, it seeks to boycott Israel in totality, right across the board, including
every Israeli athlete, filmmaker, actor, writer, poet, artist and musician, which is why we've seen concerts by Israeli orchestras interrupted in London, Israeli footballers violently attacked during a match, and calls for musicians worldwide to refuse to perform in Israel. This movement wants to hold every single Israeli responsible for what their government does, good or bad.



SF Playa Surfers


 

There will be no site migration this weekend as I have been unable to resolve the URL issue.

Currently if you navigate to the test blog Going Postal Delta via 'www.going-postal.net' everything works as it should, go to an individual post and you will see the post URL  ie 'www.going-postal.net/2016/02/watermat-bullit.html'. However access the blog via 'going-postal.net' then click on a post and you do not see the post URL, it remains 'going-postal.net'.

I can't say I would recommend Go Daddy. They've done their bit and that's all they're going to do is their answer, repeatedly. Talk to Google they say. I'd have preferred if they'd just told me to fuck off, that at least would have had a certain honesty to it. Maybe one of you lot know the answer as it seems to me this must be a trivial issue to anyone who knows about this stuff.

 

Thursday, 25 February 2016

Question Time 25th February 2016


David Dimbleby presents Question Time from Poole, Dorset. On the panel: Conservative environment secretary Elizabeth Truss MP, Labour's shadow international development secretary Diane Abbott MP, broadcaster Julia Hartley-Brewer, parish priest and Guardian columnist Giles Fraser and the creator of Downton Abbey Julian Fellowes.

Set your Disqus comments to 'newest'. Do not post videos.

Many thanks to EJ for the graphic. 

Interlude, Goldie - Inner City Life


H/t Med Jumper

Do not post videos on this thread or the upcoming QT thread. Music night is tomorrow night.

The BBC and Jimmy Savile



Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile, OBE, KCSG; (31 October 1926 – 29 October 2011), commonly known as Jimmy Savile, was an English DJ, television and radio personality, dance hall manager, and charity fundraiser. He hosted the BBC television show Jim'll Fix It, was the first and last presenter of the long-running BBC music chart show Top of the Pops, and raised an estimated £40 million for charities. At the time of his death he was widely praised for his personal qualities and as a fund-raiser. After his death, hundreds of allegations of sexual abuse were made against him, leading the police to believe that Savile was a predatory sex offender, possibly one of Britain's most prolific. There had been allegations during his lifetime, but they were dismissed and accusers ignored or disbelieved; Savile took legal action against some accusers.

The BBC, it's a national treasure, apart from the 'serious failings and atmosphere of fear'.

Coming Soon - Courtesy of David Cameron


Last Night in Calais, 24th February

Monday, 22 February 2016

Underworld - 8 Ball


H/t Med Jumper

EU Referendum Statement from David Cameron



Statement from the Prime Minister David Cameron on the deal reached with EU leaders on reforms to the terms of the UK's membership.

1530 on the BBC Parliament channel. For those living abroad you can probably find it on Zattoo

Photo Credit UK Parliament

Dream

Burning Man 2015: Dream

Sunday, 21 February 2016

Sunday Sermon - Go Forth and Multiply

All rise


Hallelujah brothers and sisters, especially all the sisters out there. I would like to turn again to the subject of refugees and immigrants, a subject that is on the minds of many if my discussions with members of the congregation are anything to go by. While I understand that building a high rise housing estate that's ten times the size of the village may seem inappropriate in sunny Mortshire, there are many benefits to be realised, not least the size of the collection plate. So my injunction to you all is that which the previous vicar and his odd curate gave you, 'Go forth and Multiply'. Do come back though. A parish that is not growing is dying.

 = Going Postal


Let us pray

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
etc
etc 

Take a pew

This week I have received a letter from the archbishop he tells me that he intends to incorporate this parish with a number of other parishes, he feels that the closer the archdiocese is to the parishes, the more authority with which it can speak and the clearer the message will be. I have to say that I am fighting against this with all my will and have had many meetings, at least two and I have received cast-iron assurances, and an offer of a bishopric that for you the parishioners it is for the best in the long run. However, there is some hope in a possible vote by parishioners being allowed at the annual vestry meeting, more news on that later.

All rise



Parish News

New parishioners are reminded to review the local by-laws here. The parish curate Mr Cat is on vacation, something about his niece, a Ms Moss turning up. News from above, Old Goat is now 'Sir Old Goat', congratulations sir. 

Church refurbishment plans are in hand, we have a temporary church hall GP Delta  that will be closed to parishioners unless by invitation. This is purely for testing purposes to ensure refurbishment is carried out without too much disruption to the church.

In the last week there have been 12,362 sessions, 2,193 users and 89,059 page views.

Amen.

Parish News just in. A statue in honour of Sir Old Goat is to undergo erection shortly.

 

Thursday, 18 February 2016

Question Time 18th February 2016


David Dimbleby presents from Stratford-upon-Avon. Panellists include Conservative international development secretary Justine Greening, Labour's shadow energy secretary Lisa Nandy, the SNP's John Nicolson, broadcaster June Sarpong and businessman and former Dragon Theo Paphitis.


Last week Disqus proved superor to a 'chat app' so Disqus it is. To follow, or take part in the live chat set your comments to 'Newest'. As new comments are posted you will see the blue bar indicating new comments have been posted. Click to display. In this way you can control the comment flow, something not possible on a chat application. 

Serious Crimes Gallery


Image Credit ECP

From left to right: Mr Stephen HARPER, Canadian Prime Minister; Mr Barack OBAMA, President of the United States of America; Ms. Angela MERKEL, German Federal Chancellor; Mr Francois HOLLANDE, President of France; Mr David CAMERON, UK Prime Minister; Mr Matteo RENZI, Italian Prime Minister; Mr Jean-Claude JUNCKER, President of the European Commission.

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

UK oil and gas bonanza



Horse Hill

As North Sea oil and gas reserves dwindle (Reserves of 55 billion barrels) and the price of extraction makes it uneconomic to extract, the UK has not only been fortunate in the shale gas revolution ie the Bowland Basin but it seems the South of England is sitting on an ocean of oil. High quality dry sweet light crude that is easy to extract and refine. 100 billion barrels worth.



16th February UKOG

UK Oil & Gas Investments PLC (London AIM and ISDX: UKOG) announces that Horse Hill Developments Limited has informed the Company that light, 40-degree API, sweet oil has flowed naturally to surface from an 80-foot zone within the Lower Kimmeridge limestone interval at a depth of approximately 900 metres below ground level.

Flow commenced at around 10.00am GMT yesterday at an initial instantaneous rate in excess of 700 barrels per day using a 1-inch choke, in an approximate mix of 50:50 oil to water. The well was then choked back to 32/64 inches resulting in a steady early oil rate in excess of 463 barrels of oil per day over a further 7.3-hour period, in an approximate mix of over 99% oil and less than 1% water.

The Lower Kimmeridge flow period is planned to continue today at 0700 following an overnight shutin from 1900 Monday. Upon completion, Phase 2 and Phase 3 operations will move to the shallower Upper Kimmeridge limestone and Portland sandstone zones at approximately 840 and 615 metres below ground level, respectively.

The HH-1 discovery well, the original exploration drilling phase originally completed at the end of 2014, is located within onshore exploration Licence PEDL137, on the northern side of the Weald Basin near Gatwick Airport. UKOG owns a 20.163% interest in PEDL137.

Read more . . .


Edit Based on eagle eyed poster FJ the 100 billion barrels are likely not the recoverable quantity but then neither are the 55 billion in the North Sea.

Corbyn reveals Cameron's EU concessions


99 Luftballons

DJ Med Jumper

Monday, 15 February 2016

Momentum favours Corbyn


H/t EJ

Gravitational Waves Detected - Rumoured to emanate from Victoria St, Westminster



Credit The SXS (Simulating eXtreme Spacetimes) Project

For the first time, scientists have observed ripples in the fabric of spacetime called gravitational waves, arriving at the earth from a cataclysmic event in the distant universe. This confirms a major prediction of Albert Einstein’s 1915 general theory of relativity and opens an unprecedented new window onto the cosmos.

Gravitational waves carry information about their dramatic origins and about the nature of gravity that cannot otherwise be obtained. Physicists have concluded that the detected gravitational waves were produced during the final fraction of a second of the merger of two black holes to produce a single, more massive spinning black hole. This collision of two black holes had been predicted but never observed.

The gravitational waves were detected on September 14, 2015 at 5:51 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time (09:51 UTC) by both of the twin Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors, located in Livingston, Louisiana, and Hanford, Washington, USA. The LIGO Observatories are funded by the National Science Foundation (NSF), and were conceived, built, and are operated by Caltech and MIT. The discovery, accepted for publication in the journal Physical Review Letters, was made by the LIGO Scientific Collaboration (which includes the GEO Collaboration and the Australian Consortium for Interferometric Gravitational Astronomy) and the Virgo Collaboration using data from the two LIGO detectors.

Based on the observed signals, LIGO scientists estimate that the black holes for this event were about 29 and 36 times the mass of the sun, and the event took place 1.3 billion years ago. About 3 times the mass of the sun was converted into gravitational waves in a fraction of a second—with a peak power output about 50 times that of the whole visible universe. By looking at the time of arrival of the signals—the detector in Livingston recorded the event 7 milliseconds before the detector in Hanford—scientists can say that the source was located in the Southern Hemisphere.


Read more. .  .

That Monday morning feeling


H/t EJ, the resident Graphics guru.


Sunday, 14 February 2016

Sunday Sermon 14th February

All rise



Hallelujaj, hallelujaj, hallelujaj, hallelujaj, hallelujaj bothers, Hallelujaj sisters, and the rest of you. Welcome, welcome, welcome, so nice to see old friends, old acquaintances, fellow parishioners and so many new faces. Today I would like to talk abo – Burnout Aussie, are you drinking! put it away. I would like to talk about the changes that have been going on in the parish, as many of you kn – Rotherham Poofter, what are you and Lord Mandelslime doing down there! Get up! The congregation does not kneel during the sermon.  As many of you know the parish has been inundated with refugees and immigrants recently, while many of you have been very welcoming, I’m thinking of you Ms Tiredofeulies, some of you have not been as welcomi – Jabba, if you’re drawing on the pews again!welcoming as one would hope of good Christians. The Methodists may have some customs that we are unfamiliar with and change is always a challen – SC, there is more than enough room for the young lady to sit on the pew! – challenge. However, I would implore you all to show some moderation.

Let us pray

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
etc
etc

Next, I believe some of you are complaining about the quality of - Is that you lurking in the vestibule ReevoGuido? - in or out boy, take a pew, quality of the sermons, might I remind you, especially if you are new here as to what the editorial policy is, there isn't one, though you are always welcome to come up to the pulpit and deliver a sermon of your own. See me

All rise


Parish News

New parishioners are reminded to review the local by-laws here, speaking of which that nice Mr Google tells me that since the refurbishment we have had over 100,000  page views and in the last week there have been 14,185 sessions, 3,724 users and 94,147 page views. However, I have had to tell him that his services are no longer required concerning maintenance of the parish notice board, it is no place for Asian dating advertisements. 

Saturday, 13 February 2016

Robot Heart


Going Postal on YouTube. There are two playlists, Going Postal and Med Jumper's DJ MJ. Get the disco lights going, it's Saturday night and it's party time.

To add videos to the Going Postal playlist follow this link. Edit Forget this link. Usual YouTube quality.

Judgement day



Entries in no particular order
 1. Stay Puft - disqualified
 2. Phyllyp Sparowe
 3. Jabba The Cat
4. Rotherhampoofta!
5. Hugo761
6. Enoch Powell

7. Jabba The Cat
 8. Phyllyp Sparowe
9. Lord MandelSlime of Fondleboys - disqualified


10. Lord MandelSlime of Fondleboys - disqualified

Riccardo Giovanelli was disqualified for bad taste. Well done.

Any misattributions, missing artwork, cheating, reply to my comment in the comments. Once that's sorted out I will add a poll to decide the winner. 


Friday, 12 February 2016

Win a crocheted sausage

If I can knock this up Effingham International Airport in an hour you can do better. There are plenty of tools out there that don't require any artistic talent. Fellow posters will direct you to resources like Giphy.

Prize is an Internet gold star Add it to your avatar.

Or one of these, maybe.

Entries uploaded in the comments please. Usual rules, see Sunday sermon if in any doubts (I'm talking about you Jabba).



Ready for the Weekend




Calvin Harris - Ready for the Weekend

With thanks to our resident DJ Med Jumper

Going Postal Playlist

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Question Time 11th February 2016


Stephen Crabb MP, Carwyn Jones AM, Nigel Farage MEP, Leanne Wood AM and Romesh Ranganathan

Effingham International Airport


Morning wake up music - The Smack Song


With thanks to our resident DJ Med Jumper

Capri 2.0



My headmaster had a Capri. He drove me to the hospital in it. It had a little floating compass thing. I'm not sure why. He and his wife didn't have kids. Kids and Capris don't mix. They had a dachshund instead. You can put a dachshund in a Capri. It's dead now. They all are.

H/T Sinik 

Photo Jon

Sunday, 7 February 2016

We have a winner


H/t Jack https://twitter.com/JackOldcastle

AKA Gordon Brown of this parish with the nice knockers. I know how disappointed many of you will be.

Take a pew

   SUNDAY SERMONii   

Hallelujah brothers and sisters, this morning we are gathered here to hear the Word and the Word is, do not screw this up!

99.99% of you appear to have been born with the common sense God gave you, and then there’s Gary. 

This site does not operate under 1st Amendment rights, that is not one of the Rocky Mountains you see in my avatar and all of us except the Septics are subject to some form of restrictions on free speech. Secondly, this blog is not a ‘public toilet wall’, the only ‘rights’ you have on this site are those we confer on you. It is a private space open to the public. Like a pub. There is a landlord and he will bar you if you behave like a cunt.

Rules, with some explanations for the terminally dense.

No hard core porn – there’s a time and a place and this isn't the place.

No racial epithets - unpleasant, unnecessary and you look a moron, likely to get you barred for repeat offences. What is a ‘racial epithet’ in this context? There are the obvious and the less obvious and the English language allows for unlimited possibilities. In the end you have to use a level of common sense for this. I struggle to see ‘Pikey’ as falling into the category but I believe it does. Use your imagination and wit instead.

Moderation

We will try to rope some of you into helping with the moderation as the sheer number of comments needing to be read is making this a difficult but not unpleasant task. To begin with, if you see anything you think shouldn't be there then flag it in Disqus. I will see it and review it. If you have been modded, forget it. Don’t do it again, that is all. Enthusiasm and a few beers can get the better of us. I’ll put up a contact mail soon; you can send me your sins for expulsion if you feel the need.

If one of you would be kind enough to turn this into something I could put on the About page I would be grateful.


Parish News

New parishioners are advised to go here http://going-postal.org/  Start from the oldest post, read all the comments, come back here and repeat, may take a while.

Speaking of new parishioners. Fuck me there’s a lot of immigrants and refugees in the gaff at the moment. The number of comments speak for themselves, Google says for the two days the blog has been up there have been 1,763 sessions, 852 users, 11,680 page views, pages/session 6.63, bounce rate 6.52%. No, means fuck all to me too.

To all our regular parishioners, especially those that have helped with the refurbishment and collection I wish to say, thank you, you make this place what it is.

Off back to bed. Enjoy. 

Saturday, 6 February 2016

Tomorrow belongs to me

Ode to the Fallen


Was saving this for a more articulated response but I doubt there's a 'window-licker' amongst you. A more creative, humorous bunch of bastards I've never had the pleasure of.

SC wins the Internet today but this comes a close second.

Apologies for being so verbose, will not happen again.

Credit Mr Shifty, you're a star.